Impulseivity ruining my life

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Petal, Mar 24, 2016.

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  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I have just cancelled DBT for the 3rd time, I phoned them and told them to cross me off the DBT program because I cannot get in and out to the city when they want me to. (I live in a small village with a poor bus service), told them to leave me alone.

    Quitting this even before it starts just like I quit college twice.

    It's just an excuse, I could find a way in and out if I really needed to. I am throwing my life down the toilet. I am very indecisive, very impulsive and shouldn't be allowed to make decisions for myself. What the hell is wrong with me? I am behaving like a toddler and I need to grow up and get some sense but I was not first in the queue when they were handing out the brains unfortunately :(

    I mess everything up. I ashamed of who I am. An embarrassment to my family and most of all to myself. I am selfish, greedy and I won't insult pigs by calling me a pig.
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2016
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Oh hun *hugs*

    I'm sorry you had to do that. I know how you've struggled with these sessions.
    Maybe you just wasn't ready for it yet? It's okay! DBT can be hard work when you've got some baggage with you. You've done well so far.

    Maybe in the future you can come back to it, when you really are ready?

    It's okay to change your mind about things hun. Who knows, maybe this was the right decision for you?
     
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  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you @ThePhantomLady I was doing just fine in the regular counselling sessions (not dbt) before this, i attended every single week so I think you might be right, that I wasn't ready for DBT. It's hard work :( thanks for your caring and supportive response, i appreciate it a lot :) Hopefully I will get the chance again in the future, (hugs)
     
  4. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Just because you may not be ready now, it doesn't mean you won't be in the future... in the future you will have the advantage of now knowing what is in store, you know?
    Don't be so hard on yourself! You're always such a fighter
     
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  5. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Petal, it's okay.....it'll be fine. Don't beat yourself up, you can try again when you're ready. We struggle with thoughts and feelings others don't understand. It's hard to overcome the fear, believe me I know. Be gentle with yourself, you're a good compassionate and caring person and that's the best thing anyone can be. (((Hugs)))
    Brian
     
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  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Awww thank you @Brian777 That is sweet. I appreciate your response. I hope I do get the chance to do i in the future. I am a fighter but this DBT and some remarks the nurse made I was not happy with. Thanks for taking the time to respond to me (big hugs)
     
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  7. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I used to work with a number of people who took part in DBT, and, although I didn't know a lot about it (because I wasn't involved in that aspect of their rehab), I always got the impression that even in the best and most successful cases, you started to marvel at the amount of harm incurred to get to the good... So in short: Don't be so hard on yourself! You'll get through this. Everybody has their own path. And one day you'll look back on it all and realize that you've prospered as a result of this experience. Trust me! I know everything you know..:)
     
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  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you @MisterBGone I was so happy with the regular counselling that I am starting again on tuesday only this time i have to pay 'cos it's private :( sucks. but if it helps i guess it is worth it. Thanks for your support, yes i hope to look back at this one day and say i did the right thing :)
     
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  9. Ima.robot

    Ima.robot Senior Member

    I am super impulsive too. I hope there is hope but yeah :/ I think routine is supposed to be a good starting point to help combat this.
     
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  10. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I can be pretty impulsive too, and not think things through until after I do them. Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a good person, you are just struggling right now. There will always be time to go to DBT or college or whatever else you want to do. Just do it when you feel ready :)
     
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  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I made things right, called her and explained I'm much more impulsive than she thinks, I went to a session so now I have all the pre-DBT therapies done. Group therapy starts on Thursday, I feel silly for posting here now lol
     
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  12. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Petal please stay strong. You are not silly.
     
  13. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    You aren't silly for posting how you feel! Glad you got everything sorted out :)
     
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  14. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    Hi petal. DBT is a challenge,. I'm on week 12. And not everything is understanble at first. I pick what I understand and I run with it. I do the diary card every day even though thay say 3 days minimum. I embrace these challenges. I already feel an improvement. Its small things. And I remind myself often of the improvements I see.
    Im not sure if ours is the same. maybe we can bounce some idea, suggestions off each other some time, if you would like to.
     
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  15. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    No reason to feel silly hun! I'm happy it's sorted now!

    *hugs!*
     
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  16. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart! I'm glad I went ahead and did the last pre session. I have group DBT on thursday for 2.5 hours, please wish me good luck. I need this and I'm also attending private therapy as DBT is all skills but I need a counsellor to talk about certain things that are bothering me. I know no 2 people's pain is the same but I am heavily relying on these therapies to get rid of the old me and give me a new less anxious and paranoid personality. Thanks for the well wishes!! Looking forward to seeing how I get on this week!
     
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