Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kiba, Feb 21, 2011.

  1. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I feel really impulsive.. It's just weird.. I get thoughts of suicide.. Yet most times I would never resort to it. Just want to cut.. Idk.. I had a migraine last night.. slept a good 13hrs and woke up physically weak.. well.. now my migraine I think may be coming back. I'm having some other pains in my legs.. Idk.. I feel stressed. Been a lot going through my mind recently, as this time of year my brother, aunt, and first pet passed. Also the first year ANY of my childhood memories are really coming back with any detail...

    Feeling alone.. And I have these break downs.. Like I cant even move at times.. Or I just sit and cry.. I cant even type or talk out loud.. My mind goes into some world.. Like it is racing so fast I can't see anything. Maybe I'm dissociating.. I'm not sure..

    I get triggered by simple conversations sometimes.. or even nothing at all!! My entire life is re-playing in my head. And as a child, I had it all blocked somehow.. Only now, I don't have those feelings bottled or blocked.. But I have more coping skills...

    Anyway.. My childhood is very complicated.. I have some more info I wrote about it.. Gona post links below (don't have to read them):

    My life story diary :

    This time of year:

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    when the emotions memories come from nowhere and catch you off guard time to reach out okay to your doc therapist friends for help. They can be very frigthening unsettling but remember they are only emotions only memories and they cannot harm you you are safe now you are NOT alone you reach out okay do not isolate It will be hard somedays but you will get thru it all you will and then you will be stronger and more in control hugs
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Thanks eclipse.. I know. I have been talking to my therapist.. It's just hard. I don't know what else to say to that.. just.. beyond hard.. I'm holding on.. Pretty good. Just get impulsive I guess at times... :(
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    That is to be expected SWift the impulsiveness is something that happens when you are in therapy and stirring up emotions that were forgotten You call you therapist for help okay in these impulsive stages. They will pass you will get to feel a little more stable as you learn new coping skills hugs to you
  5. Boston3

    Boston3 Member

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 8, 2011
  6. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Thanks Three and Eclipse.. :hug: I speak with my therapist later today.. Will talk with her about the impulsiveness.. I have had the impulsive feelings before.. But maybe she will have some good ideas as well to help me get through them. Thank you both for being my friends.
  7. Boston3

    Boston3 Member

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 8, 2011
  8. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Swifty...just to let you know I am thinking about you and hope you keep yourself safe...remember how important you are here and how we care about you...big hugs, J
  9. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Thx guys.. I.. Saw my therapist today... :cry: was a really hard session... I have a small list we made though.. things to do when impulsive...

    -Take a bath
    -go for a walk
    -talk to someone online
    -pet my cat

    I kinda.. don't think there is much I can say right now.. besides that..