In a bad place

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Abby Rose, Aug 18, 2008.

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  1. Abby Rose

    Abby Rose Well-Known Member

    I just came out of the hospital after checking myself in for a psychiatric evaluation. As odd as this might sound usually after this sort of thing I feel a little better about myself, like I am making some sort of acknowledgement of my faults and taken the steps to get better. But this time around I feel completely miserable. I don’t see any possible chance of recovery, not after what I have gone through. Medication, therapy, positive thinking have all failed me and I am just so tired of trying. I gave up trying to leave a “normal life” years ago and instead tried to focus on finding some sort of comfort, some form of happiness, but I see now that even that was just a pipe dream. I am alone and I am miserable and I just can’t take feeling like this anymore.
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hun the feelings are overwhelming to say the least. But you definitely are not alone. You have the members here to help support you in any way they can. Please post your thoughts and pains as a way to let go of them. Get them out so that they dont grow into torments that can swallow you up.
     
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I agree, put your thoughts out there and let others help you to rationalize them. I'm sure you will find the help in there. It sounds to me that they let you out to soon. Your meds are not working so you need to let your shrink know this!! I hope you stay on the path to recovery. Hold on to your positive thoughts and kick the negative ones ass!! Good Luck!!
     
  4. Abby Rose

    Abby Rose Well-Known Member

    All right, I guess I will start from the beginning. I grew up in foster care for most of my life and suffered both physical and mental abuse for a majority of my childhood. The only family member who ever cared for me was an older sister who's so psychologically damaged; she's been in and out of a mental institution for eight years. I’ve been in therapy all my life, tried countless medications had numerous, (and varied) diagnosis, none of which has seemed to have made the slightest bit of difference. After frequent attempts of trying to get my preverbal shit together I moved to a new city and started going to graduate school. I have never had a single friend, and I probably never will. I am so sick and tired of trying to act normal, of trying to be happy and find some piece in my life but I just end up feeling miserable and more alone. I can not take anymore, nothing has ever gone right in my life and I just don't think I can keep going anymore.
     
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Abbey Rose,
    You may not know yet but when you joined the forum,Welcome by the way. you automatically inherited friends. We can offer moral support and advice. If you want a one on one conversation just PM one of us and maybe we can help get you over the bumps.
    I kind of know what your talking about. My daughter was in and out of foster homes and institutions until she was 18. I tried to have her with me but I had to look at the big picture, she kept running away so I sent her back to New York because the town I live in has a major influx of homeless people and crack heads. All I wanted was to give her a fighting chance..
    She and my grandaughter just moved back down here and they are staying with us. She has lost a lot of that lifestyle she was living in and she has done a great job with my grandaughter.
    Welcome Again and Take Care!!
     
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