I don't like where this is leading. If I do it will have been the 2nd time this year alone. If I get out alive what am I going to do then? reminisce on all the other times as well and fall into that helpless "I can't even kill myself properly" stigma? Will I even bother writing another note? Will I leave a note or just find the most recent one? I've seen death and how it distraughts, and then how it fades into the year book in coming weeks and those affected unpause their lives once again. Suicidals, cannibals, schizophrenics, murderers... All just casualties of life. And one day a friend reminds another of a few memories they shared with the one in the body bag and they remember for a second, and then it's gone again. Another day perhaps. I'd love to be a truly happy person. But who is?