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in a dark place

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I thought I was doing better, I really did, but it's like I'm back where I was a week ago. I dont trust myself. I just want to end it so badly. Im scared. I dont know what to do.


Staff Alumni
Hi Aliyah, Would you like to tell us a little bit more about you, so that we can get to know you better? For example, apart from today and ever since the last time you spoke to us, what have you been up to? Is something in particular bothering you more than usual?
I havent been doing much, just school. My family's been having a lot of financial issues, so things are a bit stressful here. Yesterday, I slipped on some water and badly sprained my ankle. Instead of helping, my dad berates me for running, something I try and try but can't control. Then this morning he dragged me to the urgent care and yelled at me for 40 minutes straight about absolutely everything while we were trapped in the car. Yelling about how I'm inconveniencing him. Yeah cuz I tripped, my mom died just to ruin his life. He always does that. He's constantly whining and ranting and turning everything into a pity party for himself. And we're just the captive audience for him to push around. And when he starts going on about our mom, I just want to kill him. I hate him. But I hate myself more.
I'm so sorry but leaving is the only way i know of to deal with an abusive person. If it's any consolation, myself and I'm sure many other people on this forum are here to help you through the tougher moments.
Where the hell am I supposed to go? Am i supposed to just kidnap my brother and run away? I cant just magically find a place to sleep, stuff to eat, money. And why the fuck should some guy be able to take away everything I have, everything I have worked for, am working for my whole life? How the hell is losing everything supposed to make the pain stop?


Well-Known Member
How old are you? You need to finish school, maybe you could find a job after school.. Save some money so you can take care of yourself once you graduate. You can get out of there when you get old enough..

I have someone here I live with that is pretty hard to deal with. He likes to cuss me and all that good stuff. I just stay in my room most of the time when he is home. I don't know if that is good advice or not, but it does sound like you could use some time "a break" from your dad..

Your dad, that's awful, he's treating you like that. It's not right.. You could call CPS and see if you could be put in foster care or just find a way to try to deal with it, until you can move out..

I'm very sorry. A parent should not do that.
Sorry enfgoon that my reply was so angry. I try not to lash out like that, and I hate swearing. I wasn't angry at you, just hurting, which is no excuse. Im sorry
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