in a mess

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by weeble, Oct 14, 2010.

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  1. weeble

    weeble Active Member

    am new here, been looking for support and ended up here. It all hurts so much at the moment but as I have a small child and we are on our own I feel there is no way out. Am so sick of living this life and its a struggle to get through each hour, let alone day. Dunno why am putting it all here just grasping at straws I think. Am too scared to try and get some help as I dont want anyone interfering such as social services with my little one. I tried to go for counselling but they said they would contact GP if they thought I was any danger to myself and at the time I was having suicidal thoughts but they were just thoughts, kind of like a safety net but now its just overwhelming. Sorry
  2. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    hi weeble
    im glad youve found this place its a great place to let it all out,
    do you want to tell us more about whats hurting at the moment,its good that youre looking for help,grasping at straws that what life seems to be but you never know talking here and reading things back to yourself often helps me here.
    we cant interfere,but we can listen.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and so sorry you are feeling this way...are you and your child safe? that is the primary question...if so, then can you speak to your GP yourself and tell him/her that you are not doing well lately and see if medication/ intervention can be recommended? Also know, there are many parents here who are struggling with similar issues...please share with us and know we care...welcome and so glad you found us...big hugs, J
  4. weeble

    weeble Active Member

    We are both safe and I wouldnt do anything that would harm my child in any way. I have all these thoughts and plans then my baby cuddles me and tells me that im the best mum like ever and then I realise what a bitch I am even contemplating leaving knowing full well the agony and destruction that suicide leaves in its wake but then the urges kick in again.

    I had a counselling session earlier which did not go well at all. She basically said that she doesnt think she can help me and wants me to go and see my GP. I dont think there is anyone out there who can help me, am a total lost cause who is too screwed up for anything. I am seeing an online counseller aswell at the moment which is going well but feel that am just taking up her time and energy when its all for nothing so am struggling to even communicate with her at present.

    On the outside everything looks so rosy, am doing well in most aspects of my life, I think people see me as a sorted person but they cant see the blackness and the filth and dirt which runs through my viens.

    :spidey: this is exactly what I am doing at the moment, am lurching from one side to the other but they are both heading in the same direction. Am trying so hard to keep my head above water but am sinking fast :(

    I think the worst thing that could happen is for someone to find out how bad I am at the moment and take my baby away from me.

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