In a tunnel with no light at the end....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Beanie, Jan 9, 2008.

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  1. Beanie

    Beanie New Member

    I've been trying to think on how to open my first post on this site, each first sentence sounding trite, jovial or insincere. :(

    I've just turned 31 and my marriage has broken down completely due to problems on both sides.

    In a fit of anger, I told my Wife that I hated her and never wanted to speak to her again. She has taken me at my word despite knowing that I jump off of the deep end and doesn't want anything further to do with me.

    We were making a good effort at being friends and things were really looking up despite the marriage failing.

    She is my best friend and gives me emotional support and guidance.

    I am absolutely devastated that she doesn't want to be a part of my life and that I have caused here so much hurt and pain. I feel like I need to be punished for hurting her. I want this pain to stop and the only way I can thing of it ending is by saying "Goodbye". If I had a gun, I think there would be times where I'd be ready to use it.

    Life is never easy, but sometimes you just cannot imagine how hard it can get. :(
  2. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    Please don't punish yourself further for your circumstances. (((hugs)))
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Give your wife some time to cool down. What you said to her really hurt her feelings. Maybe you two can work things out in time.
  4. Beanie

    Beanie New Member

    Sometimes it's hard not to. Other times I feel like I can take the moral high ground knowing that I've not actually done anything wrong (even though it appears to my Wife that I have).

    Patience is the one virtue that I lack, though I'm doing what I can to leave her be at the moment.

    I hope we work it out because I love her and I hate feeling like this. I sorely regret what I said.

    I know I'll be okay in time and that these black thoughts will pass, just sometimes the thoughts run away with themselves and it bcomes a vicious circle.

    Thanks for your replies.
  5. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    Yeah, give her some time to cool off. While you do that, be sure to let her know that you do in fact still love her and that you want things to be OK between the 2 of you. Make sure she knows that.
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