In a very bad place

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sad Rabbit, Jul 9, 2009.

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  1. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    If I were to describe my life, it would have to be something along the line of "Being born, then downhill from there".

    This last year has been particularly bad for me and now they are getting worse. If it isn't a death in the family bad enough to cope with, its more family illness and trying to hold down the job from hell and feeling emotionally crushed and drained at the same time.

    Just when I feel I couldn't cope with any more, when I am totally convinced nothing could ever be as bad as this, I find myself with a potentially serious medical problem. It may be just an allergy or a virus - I don't know. But tomorrow I am going to have to call my local surgery and get to see my doctor.

    I don't want to describe it, but this is terrifying the absolute hell out of me - which is just the thing I need when I feel life has almost succeeded in squeezing the will to live out of me. Now I've got this to contend with.

    I did have a fleeting glance at some medical websites - and what I saw was not pleasent. Not life threatening, but serious enough to cripple me long term.

    I can't think straight or anything and don't know who to turn to or what to do next....

  2. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    Diagnosing yourself can be a dangerous endeavor. Get in to see your doc asap.
  3. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    hi Graham :hug: i'm sorry things aren't going well.. i know how hard it is to cope with things when bad thing upon bad thing just keep piling up and the weight of the world is on your shoulders but with things like this, you have to keep positive, or at least try, or else it can get you so worked up and that's never good anyway.
    i don't know what this condition you may have is, but there should be some treatment for it right? maybe look into that and get clued up on things - no harm in trying is there?
    i'm sorry you're feeling so low, but you just have to hang in there :smile: maybe search the forum for a bit to try and take your mind off it, possibly write how you're feeling down in a members diary or just take a nap - things are so much better after you've had some sleep :heart:
    triggs xx
  4. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    I agree. That is why I only had a cursory glance at a few sites and not spent ages trawing through medical databases and end up thinking I have something I don't.

    I am scared enough now, I don't want to feel worse.
  5. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    Thanks for that. Maybe I'm just winding myself up over nothing, and hopefully it is nothing.
  6. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    :smile: hopefully not
    and then you can get back to helping yourself feel better - lifting all those weights off your shoulders and being happy again :hug:
    good luck xx
  7. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    The only way you'll know the truth is to go to your doctors. You'll feel so much better once they've talked to you and sorted things out with you :)
    Take care, and let us know how it goes if you get to your doctors. :hug:
  8. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    Thanks for that.

    I am seeing my doctor on Thursday. For some reason, I feel a bit better today. I don't know why, I keep alternating between a fleeting moment of euphoria, and the desperate need to finish everything off.

    Life goes on I guess.....unfortunatly.
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