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In and out a lot

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by yada, Nov 6, 2006.

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  1. yada

    yada Well-Known Member

    Whereas I haven't actually tried to pull the plug, I go into phases where I really want to. I get very demotivated to do anything, and since I work for myself from home, I end up doing nothing other than watching TV and surfing the net, as I'm doing now. I can't concentrate on anything.

    Then the next day I think that I'm ahead being alive cause I have nothing to lose now, and I'm more at peace and actually not depressed then. I get back to work. No where at the level I used to work before the depression began, but I do get some stuff done.

    Then some event happens and I'm hurting again. The cycle repeats. Any of you experience something like this?
  2. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    Ive got work related issues, i'm having to write a 3rd year uni project. But when your utterly depressed its hard to find the zest i used to have with my work. All seems abit pointless now and i know if i fail my uni i'm gonna end it because ive got nothing else.
  3. Will

    Will Staff Alumni

    I know what you mean Yada.

    For the ting about being unable to concentrate, I think that negative events effect us like twice as much, because we don't have anything to do. If our minds are idle, and can't focus on something to do, then something negative would hit arder, because it's all we have.

    I'm not sure if that's what you mean, but I think that's similar to how I feel sometimes.
  4. yada

    yada Well-Known Member

    That's so true. Currently I don't have something going wrong, but I have everything going wrong. It's added up to stress, then anxiety and now depression. And now any little thing that happens triggers me off easily into more depression and crying. I guess it's because it feels like that one is the last straw at that time.
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