In crisis from doing something stupid please help

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Unknown_111, Jan 9, 2014.

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  1. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi folks,

    I done something stupid and having aniexty attacks over my paranoia. I try to get help from other organisations and have no where else to turn to. I try to put a braveface but always hit a low ebb. I think I just panicking over nothing but cannot take my life anymore.

    I hate what I have done and keep thinking about self-harming at the moment. On the outside I keep false smile but inside I crying out for help. I cannot go to my doctor as I don't trust her. Any words or advice would be appreciated. Please as I am very desperate.

    Thank you for reading.
  2. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    why not start by telling us what you did that you regret so deeply.... it sounds cliche, but honestly, the first step in healing is admitting the problem....
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Got infatuated on the internet and became overbearing by getting obsessive checking on this person. Virtually to the point of harassing and becoming stalker-like. Not threatening behaviour and the person gave no warning to leave him alone. I think he was compiling a dossier of my obsession about him. I was delusional and now think the authorities are after me. Massive panic attacks and now thinking about self-harming as I cannot live with the shame. Got no where to turn too... At a low ebb at the moment.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 9, 2014
  4. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    aw, no.
    big brother syndrome is hard to deal with.
    does this person still... i mean are you still in contact?
  5. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    No I completely detached all links with person after seeking advice from a helpline. I want to explain but think it show a sign of guilt and be used against me. The paranoia has kicked so bad that I keep thinking somebody is after me and I cannot to terms to what I have done. I came to realise what I had done after reading an article. My problem is very much insignificant compared to others who use this site but I have no where to turn to. So low ebb at the moment. I cannot keep ringing helplines as others need it more than me.
  6. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    hmmm, this article you mention... what did they even say in it...

    if the person didn't warn you off, then it surely wasn't so bad? did you feel obsessed to beyond reason?

    no problem is less important than another. this is clearly hurting you very much
  7. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Reading the article described the type of person I became. After reading that I came to a realisation to what I have done. Most of the conversation was virtual chitchat but I became very overbearing. The person did not block me at point, to which I still wonder to why not? The person knows how vulnerable I am but at the moment I cannot cope at all.
  8. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    Have you ever had a physical ache or pain and gone to the internet for information. I know I have. And I always diagnosis myself with the worst possible thing. And turn out to be wrong. You are very vulnerable right now and should not come to any conclusions based on something you read. You are likely to come to the worst possible interpretation, just like I do with physical pain.
  9. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Dear She Bear,
    Thank for the reply. I don't try to do any self diagnosis on the internet as that can really plague my mind. Having read the current law and details, I just feel vulnerable and cannot cope with my mind manifesting issues. Like you say perhaps I am just blowing things out of proportion but perhaps overtime it might be nothing. But in the short-term the fear of not knowing the outcome is playing on mind and sitting inside staring at four walls does not help. I feel bad about the hurt I have caused to the third party and cannot cope without knowing their feelings. So I feel the only way to relief the pain is through self-harming, easy the turmoil I'm going through.
  10. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Try to take your mind off it do something that would engage your mind into being busy and not dwell on the issue that's upsetting you. Please do not think you are unworthy for those crisis helplines. Go and make the phone call and vent if you cannot cope. Please do not self harm. Take care.
  11. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Dear DrownFishonFire,
    Thank you for your kind words. I tried to cope today by keeping busy but the aniexty has kicked in today but it's a case of taking each as it comes. Keep busy everyday is my only choice in order not to mull over things. Once again thanks for your kind words and support.
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