I'm new to this forum, and have never really gone looking for help, but tonight, I think I really need it. I am an 18 year old male who pretty much just hit the breaking point. I am currently in school and pledging a fraternity. Throughout my life, even in elementary school, I was depressed. High school basically sucked, but I got through it just being a loner and staying to myself and a close group of friends. Once college came along, it was a clean slate, one of the first nights, I met this beautiful girl and have been hanging out with her since. Tonight, I finally told her how I felt and asked if she ever had similar feelings. (What pushed me to say something was that she asked how I would feel about her acting on her feelings for the president of the fraternity, one of my closest friends.) She said that it really bothered her that I am one of the nicest guys she's ever known, and she needs me as a "best friend." I took the news well enough, and continued to hang out with her, then continued with what I had to do for the night. It hadn't really hit me until I was walking back to my room from the frat house. I wasn't sure what I felt. It was this numb, unsure feeling. I broke a lighter, put a cigarette out on my arm, then went inside. When I got back to my room, I burned myself again, to focus on something else. I've been off prozac for about a month now, and have been doing fine. But once I tried to go to sleep, I found that I couldn't. I can't stop thinking about suicide. Different methods keep running through my head and I can't get to sleep. I took 15mg of prozac, the amount that I was on before I stopped, in hopes of feeling better in the morning. I still couldn't sleep, I keep wanting to send out a text message telling people that my suicide is not their fault. I just want to stop these thoughts from going through my head.