Am in crisis ..its coming up for good Friday ...a lot of ritual abuse happened to me on good Friday over the years as child and teen and I feel that am not able to cope with it at all. This morning i wanted drink and ended up having an augment with my husband about it. Tonight i am going to an AA meeting my first with in the last week and 2 days i have been missing them out because of social anxiety. Right now i want to rip into my arms and really cut deeply . My husband is sleeping at the moment as he only went to bed at 4.40am and i woke him about wanting a drink at 7 am he has had hardly any sleep and he is struggling himself with wanting to self injure The fact he wants to self injure is my fault i have been putting pressure on him with me wanting to drink all the time and he is my carer as well as my husband he has to make sure the pills are all safe so i dont OD on them, he has to make sure that i take my pills on time and deal with me when am having a hard time with my mental health and self injury He deal with so much of my shit ...he would be better of with out me. During the argument things were said that i didn't mean and he got really upset about it and made him think of the past he was so upset that he was shaking and close to cutting This is my fault Just because i cant handle a fucking date am pathetic.