In desperate need of somebody to talk to

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by shamps, Apr 22, 2010.

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  1. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    i am 31 years of age,a few days ago my partner of 5years admitted to cheating on me then suddenly started moving his things out,ive since learned hes shacked up with her.i now have a month to vacate the house we were renting together with hardly any money,i have no family and hardly any true friends.my world has been torn apart i love him with all my heart despite what hes done to me,im sat here alone hes just come over to take the rest of the furniture ect leaving me with nearly nothing and the things hes just said to me have made it 100 times worse now.im not a strong person and have nothing and nobody.i am actually sat here in tears with quite a few packets of pills and some water and just dont see another way to get rid of my pain,i dont know if im crying for help or whether im gunna sit here till it gets so bad that i actually take them.i tried the samaritans and the woman i spoke to sounded like she was bored and hardly said a word so i hung up.i thought they were there to help.when i say i have no family or friends i mean exactly that,long story...........i dont know which way to turn,i cant bare the thoughts in my head thinking of them together even though hes just said he still loves me...hes leaving me like this and has just shut the door and driven away.ive lost my partner,my home,most of our belongings,my sanity and my future in one foul swoop.cant even bare to go to work.......im scraed to death of what il do and im also scared that i am actually going to be laughed at for this but i really dont know what else to do....please say there are people who care out there or theres no hope for me im sat here a wreck

    A
     
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I care...and I can hear how much pain you're in but killing yourself is not the answer....he's not worth you taking away your life....
    I know the pain of a broken relationship and the cheating...if I can make it through theres' hope for you to...
    move those pills away and if you feel suicidal call a crisis line, go to hospital, call a friend. anything to stop yourself....
    try the samaritans again and maybe a different person can offer more help..
    see if you can get some counceling to help you through the grief of your loss..
    I'm not sure what your country offers but here you can get emergency housing from charities....is there a friend who can let you stay with them till you're on your feet again????
    if you can't cope go see your GP...he can help if you need medication...
    please don't hurt yourself ..you're worth more than that...hugs
     
  3. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    i literally have no friends,not the real life friends that could actually come round and hug me,me and my family havent spoken in years dont even know where they are......my mother got me into so much debt that i lost my house and am still paying her other debts off as i got them in my name...the last thing she said to me was i shouldve aborted you.havent seen them since.i have cyber friends on facebook but non are close by and all seem too caught up in their own lives to truly notice somebody in need of help and love.ive been treated for depression many times over the years and ive just found the drugs make u sleep and nothing else.........they dont really care they just want u in and out of the door...............i feel ive gone past rock bottom
     
  4. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    Good god, that's awful to hear.

    I can't understand your pain, as I've never even dated anyone before. I have had my trust betrayed, but not to such an extent. I'm saying this because I don't know how to help, even though I really, really want to. I'm just hoping that talking to you will help a little. :/

    I think you should get rid of the pills/any dangerous and/or tempting objects and get them out of your reach (like flushing down the toilet or something like that). Give yourself a break, some time to calm down. The hurt is very fresh and will take a long time to numb, at least from what I've heard.

    I've heard of support groups for the depressed or the suicidal. Maybe you can look some up in your area and meet new friends who understand?

    I wish there was more I could do.
     
  5. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    its more than ok,i cant expect anybody to help me when i dont even know how to help myself.i cant even bare to leave the house.hes made me feel worthless.maybe my mother was right i shouldntve been born then everybody would be better off.how can u say u love someone then walk out of the door when they are in such a mess?i dont understand any of it.how can u betray somebody as far as cheating?it makes me wonder how long its been going on and how big a mug i am..........there is no point to me being here,what do i contribute to life?ive always thought i was a decent person,il help anyone if i can,give them the last of my money if they needed something.i have my faults we all do but i genuinely love him with all my heart.5years is alot to take away from somebody.my previous partner of 9years cheated and left me but he was also very violent and made me hate him in the end so although it was hard it was easier to get over than this time.he wont even give me closure and explain....without that i find im only picking on myself for what i couldve done differently...hes admitted it but isnt taking the blame hes just got his things and done a runner.how can he love me knowing that im so low i may end my life?tells me he didnt love me but then is that even worse?i just cant win
     
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    that's a really good idea...you won't feel so alone with the depression...
    I urge you to go get some different meds..they have new ones all the time and the ones I'm on don't make me sleepy..the ones I had before..I never wanted to get out of bed..
    take care:hug:
     
  7. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    Understand that it's not your fault at all. You're not the one who did anything wrong.

    He's the one that cheated on you. He's the one that betrayed your trust and did something immoral. He did something wrong, not you.

    You didn't deserve to be betrayed like that, no one does.
     
  8. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    that is really very kind of you but it doesnt make the pain stop.i have to go to bed on my own for the first times in 5years,thats hard enough but then i cant shut the thoughts out of him with her.hes not sleeping alone tonight....it feels like a game and that hes won.i thankyou all for your kind words.guess time will tell if im strong enough or if i give in
     
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    you are a decent person ..dont blame yourself for how hes treating you..
    all he's thinking about is himself....people who do that are just cruel..
    and don't believe what your mother said...sounds like she has a whole set of problems of her own she should deal with and not throw them onto your shoulders..
    I am a great believer in cognitive behaviour therapy and would highly recommend it.....you sound so like me where everyone treats you like c***..
    it teaches you positive self talk and how to stand up and be treated with respect...it's working for me now..
    is reaching out to some of your cyber buddies an option?..sometimes people need to be told we need help...
    someone else here may give you some more suggestions for housing....
    this breakup is so fresh yet...I know you don't think you'll ever feel better but give it time ok..
    :hug:
     
  10. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I've been where you are now.....you can get through the pain...
    we are here for you....hugs
     
  11. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    I think sleeping on it could help make you feel better. Maybe eat some chocolate, or take a hot shower. Some small pleasure to temporary relieve the pain. It could do a lot of a good.

    When I'm going through a very, very bad moment, I stuff my mouth with chocolate. It has a special chemical that actually increases happiness (it's a very small amount, but noticeable when you eat a lot of it).
     
  12. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    in that case il try a fray bentos,i dont have a sweet tooth in the slightest but pies i enjoy.if i do get over this nobody will want me again anyway coz il be so fat from eating pies.all i wanted from life was to have a few friends and somebody who loves me.i dont have either and me personally i think thats really sad at my age(for me everybody feels different)im not stupid i know u cant make a good friend overnight but nobody seems willing to try these days,i dont know what people seem to dislike me or why they keep their distance
     
  13. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    when you get over this...
    you brought a smile to my face with your comment on being too fat for anybody else....
    my BF cheated on me with a woman 4' 6" tall and weighing in at 18 stone...
    I couldn't even talk for 6 weeks after i found out (from the shock)....but I;m still here and that was 15 years ago..
    you can do it....show him you don't need him...hugs
     
  14. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    i think whats hurting most is that hes already with somebody.breaking up is one thing but its almost as if hes gotton ahead in some sort of race of life.hes one step ahead in being with someone,i feel at 31 that im scared it wont happen to me again.ive never been married and ive always wanted that for my future,i dont want to be an old bride,uptil a few days ago i thought i was nearing being able to walk up the aisle at a reasonable age.i feel him and her are just laughing at me.i am so sorry to hear what you went through...needless to say i understand.i probably will get through but things are a bit of an unknown at the moment which scares me,whilst im this low i dont know what im capable of from one min to the next
     
  15. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    You're never too old to find someone new.

    It's true, you can't make a friend overnight. But you can meet a friend at any time.

    Personally, I think it's best not to think about the future right now. Just concentrate on relaxing and feeling better. I'm sorry I'm not all that helpful, but like I've said, I have zero experience with this.

    Is there anything I can do for you though? Maybe look up some mind-numbing online games for you, some online support groups for people who went through the same thing (I'm sure they exist. There's a support group for everything)?
     
  16. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    things I reckon your'e being very helpful....
    shamps just take it minute by minute if you have to....treat yourself kindly....this is not your fault...it's nothing you did...he's the culprit...
    you aren't too old to get married...never too old....lucky you didn't marry him...
    there will be someone out there for you ... just hold on and get through the grief, pain, betrayal you are feeling...:hug:
     
  17. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    u just brought me to tears(in a good way)ure so lovely.u dont know me but ure trying to help me,i havent known anybody be like that with me for a hell of a long time.i thankyou from the bottom of my heart.i cant say im into games but i spose a support group or something similar would be of some help.i may have a laptop but im bloody useless at searching for things(doesnt bode well for my house search).excuse me for being so scatter brained......and my english and grammar isnt usually this bad either but as stupid as it sounds i havent got the energy to think about where i need a capital letter or a full stop ect.i am trying but dont mean to seem rude.i know im saying im lonely but then saying i cant bare to leave the house,but as silly as it sounds thats just the way i deal when im this low.typing on a keyboard to somebody u can still do whilst crying and u can sleep when u have a headache from crying so much,id hate to be sat with somebody and not be able to talk to them for balling my eyes out or have them come over only for me to say im tired and need rest.mind u.........finding somebody to come over would be a challenge in itself so i guess im ok sticking to the cyberworld,maybe il come around but i just hope if i do it doesnt take long.i cant stand feeling so alone and helpless.
    thankyou again.....ive never met you but u are a very kind person x
     
  18. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    No need to worry about grammar. As long as people can understand what you're saying (and we can), it's all good. :) No worries about the scatter-brained thing too, it happens to everyone.

    I know how you feel. I want to meet people, but don't want to leave the house. It's just...safer at home. Feels more secure. Well, the options there when you feel up to it, finding a support group in real life I mean.

    I looked it up on ExperienceProject. They have a group for just about every experience imaginable (really. I recall seeing a "I hate pigeons" group). I found one about being cheated on: http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Have-Been-Cheated-On/37562

    I'm a little hesitant to recommend this game. It's deliriously fun and addictive, but I'm afraid it might frustrate you (the frustration is what makes it so addictive!). It's robot unicorn attack from adult swim: http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html

    This one is also a pretty fun, simple game: http://www.addictinggames.com/i-dont-even-game.html

    It's no problem. I hope you feel better soon. :)
     
  19. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    thanks all of you,i really mean that from what little piece of my heart is left that he didnt shatter....i will look into all those.i came here for help and support so im not going to ignore it when its given to me.i hope im welcome here for the forseeable future,dont rekon il be much cop without for a long time yet.

    hugs to you all xoxo
     
  20. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    We welcome everyone. :) Take care.
     
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