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in general

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ~~`, Jul 20, 2011.

  1. ~~`

    ~~` New Member

    i feel like shit and i hate my life
    my life isn't hard but i hate it
    i feel like dying most of the time. i'm incredibly depressed and getting any sort of help is out of the question
    i like to take out my feelings online; friendships online are like real friendships to me. in reality i am socially inept-i have no fucking friends.
    whenever i get fucked over by someone online i get really sad. no, not overreacting sad but i truly REALLY get sad. i must have some kind of bipolar disorder but i get really depressed to the point where i don't eat or do anything productive until i can channel out my emotions through something else (ie gaiaonline or talking to someone about it online)
    case in point example of why people think i'm annoying

    im not going to lie about my mom being a psychotic bitch. i depend on her like crazy and i have no way of being independent.
    the answer is always "get out of the house asap" but i can't. she pays for my school, i can't get loans because im 16 or something, i don't know my social security, dumb shit like that. my ex-boyfriend offered for me to stay with him and his family (lmfao like i'd ever do that, although just being away from my life seems ideal)

    i'm really crazy. i need to do something besides cause shit online and piss people off. i don't know how to control myself
    i need some new thing to abuse

    computers obviously don't work anymore

    ik people do things like cutting themselves but i never found that appealing. i'm technically a masochist because i do thinks repeatedly to get beaten (quote unquote my mother) but i never understood why people intentionally hurt themselves. does it feel good or something? the blood? blood freaks me out in general

    i seriously need something new or else i'm going to go crazy and try to hang myself
    <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>
    bawling rn

    tl;dr what are some good ways to distract myself from depression besides medication
  2. roscho

    roscho Well-Known Member

    Each of us deal with depression differently. For me, making lists helps. I spend time and thought on making a list, then I often think about the list a lot. I try to put some easy things on it, and some harder things on it, and maybe even some impossible things on it. This way I get some wins and start thinking positively about how to manage the harder things, and so on.