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in love with the wrong girl

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by bluedoors, Dec 22, 2014.

  1. bluedoors

    bluedoors Guest

    How does it feel to fall in love with your best friend? The relationship can never go to the next level as both of you are already in a committed relationship. Yet you feel that she is the only person that can understand you and accept you as you are - could it be that she is the ONE? You think about her day and night. And it's not just a crush - these feelings are real and have been inside of you for the past 3-5 years. You steal a kiss from her but that is how far you can go. And she confesses to you that she would have been interested in you had external circumstances been different.
    It is not a nice place to be in.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think for all who are involved it is only fair that you are honest If your heart does not belong to the one you are with then it is not fair to stay there that person deserves to be loved with all your heart not part of it
  3. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    You, as individuals, determine where the relationship goes. Unless the "committed" relationships are marriages with children, where the solution is more obvious, then there are three options here:

    1. End your relationship with partners who you don't think are best - the one - for you, sparing them of being only half-loved as total eclipse said;

    2. Remain just friends and end all romantic behaviors and attractions to one another, possibly end the friendship for good if you truly value your current significant other more than the intergender friendship that's becoming more than it should; or

    3. Cheat and be unfaithful.

    I was friends with a married man for a long time and we had a lot of chemistry. But when he wanted more than just friendship with me, and wanted his wife too, I had to abandon him and the friendship entirely. I wasn't hurt by abandoning him at all and I stand by my principles. If you choose to end the friendship because you value your girlfriend more then it shouldnt be a difficult decision whatsoever.

    Ultimately it's up to you to decide whether your current relationship is more important to preserve than taking a leap of faith with your friend. Also think about your girlfriend's needs. Would it break her heart more if you be honest and release her so that you can pursue another love interest, or would it hurt more for her to be in love with someone who is enamoured with another woman?
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 24, 2014
  4. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    in my perspective youre leading on your current partner being emotionally attached to another somewhat cheating.
  5. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    I'd be honest to your girlfriend about you're feelings towards your friend. It's kinda like living a lie, being with someone but yet you're in love with someone else. Wouldn't you rather be with the person you truly loved? First I'd talk to your friend who you have feelings for and ask her if she wants to be with you and see what she has to say. I wish you the best of luck and being honest is the best thing in this case.
  6. Linny

    Linny Active Member

    I have this problem happening with me at the moment too. We care for each other extremely to the point past friendship. But when we tried dating, I couldn't bring myself to enjoy the change. It was all different for me and I didn't like it and I still wanted to do other things. Unfortunately, he's still hoping for me and he can't get in a relationship because he has no interest in other girls and he often gets annoyed with me, trying to push me away.