In major distress

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Mclaine18, Jun 10, 2015.

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  1. Mclaine18

    Mclaine18 Member

    Hi,

    I joined because I have been feeling very down lately...well for a while actually...my spouse is cheating on me and all I see is black...meaning I do not know how this can be resolved by that I mean...I really want...would like to try and save our marriage
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear you are struggling :( Does your partner want to save the marriage too? Tell us more about what's going on for you, we do not judge here!
     
  3. Mclaine18

    Mclaine18 Member

    I do not know what she wants to do...honestly
    This is the problem...She is bi polar...right now I am not certain where exactly she is even.
    We have not spoken in two months...we are in a long distance marriage.
    Because I feel so hopeless I was googling suicide sites the other night
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Well, you have found a great place for support, my eight years here have been fantastic and I no longer suffer with depression. How did she used to manage her bi-polar? Is she medicated? When have you last been in contact with her? I think it would be good for you to talk to her and see what she has planned for the future, if you still love her be honest and tell her that.
     
  5. Mclaine18

    Mclaine18 Member

    That is my biggest problem outside of course to my reaction to her behavior...She is not treated as yet...I suspect she has been suffering for over 30 years with it.
    I do not know where she is ...and I must wait ( If ever ) for her to contact me...The only positive ...is that she has done this before.

    As far as the future and questioning her...she says I over whelm her...also she admits to living day by day...very difficult situation to deal with

    I last saw her the weekend of April 5th...We had an argument after I left town on the telephone.

    She has blocked my number from me being able to communicate with her.

    I have sent five emails ...all have gone unanswered
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    That does sound difficult. Many people on the forum suffer with bi-polar so hopefully they can weigh in some insight because my knowledge of bi-polar is very limited. When was she diagnosed? 30 years is a hell of a time time to be left untreated and the longer it's untreated the harder it is to treat however she can do it if she gets the appropriate treatment, I hope for your sake she contacts you soon as obviously you can't deal with this without her. Do you know anyone that would be able to contact her?
     
  7. Mclaine18

    Mclaine18 Member

    See this is the reason I am in such distress...this person...is beyond stubborn...As I said earlier I must wait...if ever...for her to contact me.

    Also she has never been diagnosed...that I know of.

    However I am certain that she is in fact suffering from this disorder

    Please take me seriously !
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 10, 2015
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, sorry I did not see your reply until now, of course I will take you seriously as I would anyone else posting on this forum. May I ask why you believe she is suffering from bi-polar? Were there obvious signs? I hope she contacts you and that you get everything you want sorted, dealt with. How long did it take her in the past for her to contact you? I understand you love this person dearly but right now you must look after yourself too.
     
  9. Mclaine18

    Mclaine18 Member

    The last time she was absent from my life ...it took about 7 months for her to reach out to me...I almost drove myself and my friends loopy.
    I have no idea how long it will take this time...honestly
    My BF is bi polar (treated ) she says my spouse has all the symptoms and displays all the signs ..I even attended a support group for families of mood disorders and grew very upset when I learned the stats on divorce.
    I called them last week for some help...They basically said she has called and come back before..she will do it again !

    I think I am also suffering from impatience as well as frustration...
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Do you still feel ''attached'' to your partner, like something you just cannot get out of your mind 24/7? Do you lie at night worrying about her? I think that is how you are feeling anyway. Even if your spouse displays the symptoms of a certain illness such as bipolar in this case don't take it as face value. For example there was a time my psychiatrist thought I had bi-polar and even the psych was even having difficulty diagnosing me, I actually have borderline personality disorder just some of the symptoms from both illnesses are similar.

    Fair play to you for even attending a support group, I can't begin to imagine how much you love your partner. You need patience and to try and move past this until she does come back, keep your days occupied if you can and keep talking because it helps get all the emotions out. I'm not saying forget about her but just to look after yourself as well.
     
  11. Mclaine18

    Mclaine18 Member

    Excellent advice Petal...Also very good insight on your part as to how you describe what is going on with me...The lieing awake at night...unable to detach myself from her...not that I want to..its her silence.
    The last time she returned ...she actually admitted to me how difficult she makes it for me to love her...meaning how aware she is of what she puts me through...
     
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are most welcome. I hope your situation and mental health improves for you. No need to be suffering like this. SF is here for you :)
     
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