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In my dairy

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TheWr0ngChild, Jul 7, 2008.

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  1. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    I wrote a plan.

    This is not good.

  2. Blueberry

    Blueberry Active Member

    But sharing it is.

    Congratulations for reaching out. :smile:
  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Writing out your plan can be unnerving, but remember that as long as it stays thoughts or words on a peice of paper it is ok. The trouble comes when you act on them. I am glad you shared with us what you had done. Please take care and stay safe. :hug:
  4. janie

    janie Well-Known Member

    spill some ink on it?
  5. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    haha thats actually a good idea:D
  6. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys for trying to lighten my decaying mood, but the odds are stacked too against me being able to live like this for much longer.
    All my symptoms are back, I feel like I have some sort of muscle wasing disease. I'm probably going to be getting worse untill I'm about 50, and it all stops (my monthly cycles) and I am not going to make the people I love watch me disinegrate. I'd rather my end was reletivly quick. I refuse to become what it is making me.

    I'm sorry I've not been on the chat so much too, but I am very, very low and I don't want to take the risk of being harrased via PM or called a troll again. I'm not gonna be driven to the end by some silly idealistic little child.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2008
  7. janie

    janie Well-Known Member

    hey tin woman, i had a quick skim over your other threads. are you still just taking the codeine pills? sorry if you've already mentioned this but have you seen a doctor about this? Because in some people severe PMS may potentially be stopped with for example the common oral contraceptives- which inhibit menstruation cycles. Or a doctor may give u some more effective symptom relieving pills?
  8. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    The pill is what caused it. I had such a serious reaction to it. I don't take it anymore but all the symptoms come back each month as these PMS things even YEARS after I stopped taking it, and they are getting worse and lasting longer. I don't really care for "treatment" anymore.

    Yes, I am still using the Codeine pills...
  9. janie

    janie Well-Known Member

    how much does your doctor know about all this? Im jsut wondering if this has been fully investigated medically becaus if there is an identifyable cause maybe something can be done about it. Also its worthwhile finding out if there is anything serious underlying what's been going on with you
  10. nedflanders

    nedflanders Well-Known Member

    Wow, me too. I also write things in my dairy. But the cows just say, moo.
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hi TinWoman,
    I know we haven't talked much, but I have read all your posts since I became a member. I realize you in pain both emotional, and mentally. I just want to let you know we are all concerned about you. Please stay safe hopefully your frame of mind will change shortly. If you want to vent you can PM me anytime!!:chopper:
  12. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    Recently I was stuck in a cabin with my mom. I began getting seriously depressed and had nothing to treat my anxiety. I began writing a suicide note and was desperately considering suicide. I kept telling her I wanted to go home soon but wouldn't tell her how I was feeling suicidal. I finally made it through all that and I still have the note I wrote. It was just an apology about everything, how the psychiatry never worked, how nothing makes sense anymore....
    when this happens. What do you do?
  13. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

    Writing a plan does not necessarily mean that you are going to carry out the plan. By talking about it and reaching out you are helping yourself; I can't tell anyone not to do anything or to do anything as that would make me a hypocrite, but what I can say is that there are people around that care is others were to leave. So talk and see what other options there are.
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