In need of some reassurance

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by helephant, May 13, 2014.

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  1. helephant

    helephant New Member


    I moved to a new city for a job in September, I didn't know anyone so I ended up moving in with a group of people who also started at the same time as me. Move 8 months down the line and those horrible negative voices that have been in my head for years have come back, and they're louder than they've been for a long time. I can't deal with this. I punish myself by throwing up (please delete if I shouldn't say that) which just makes the housing situation worse, and I've now been told they want me to move out. Its difficult because I know no one here, I'm 100% alone, I'm not close to my family and all my old friends have their own lives and don't care about my messed up one anymore.
    I just want to end it all. I'm exhausted and can't keep going, let alone hunt for a house.
    They say they still care, but words are empty when they say that, then all leave the house and let me just stew on my problems.

    I keep almost ending it, but I'm too tired to even do anything.
    I have to be up in 5 hours to go to work, which feels so dull at the moment (I'm just chasing up other people who dont want to take ownership of something) so I have 8 hours of pondering over how terrible a person I am.

    I just need cheering up or being told by someone thats gone through something similar that no matter how many times you're beaten down it's worth getting back up again. I don't see the point in doing that anymore...
  2. ValentineBabe

    ValentineBabe Active Member

    Hi helephant, I'm new here and certainly no expert but I can relate to some of what you're going through. I have many days much like yours but as it turns out another day comes and I make it through. Though we tell ourselves no one likes us or loves us or cares about us this is untrue there are people who care and love us we just don't "feel" it sometimes.

    Maybe look into some social groups that you have interests in or if you're a person of faith find a church to attend and there you could speak with pastors. In the meantime we at sf are here and want to stay in touch. Stay strong, Blessings to you ~~
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Helephant. Welcome to the forum. Being lonely is tough and hard to cope with. You need to focus on the positive aspect of your life. I suggest that you speak to someone or a helpline. Dragging yourself through on your own is tough but you have survived so far. Do think your alone and please keep posting here. Please take care as ever.
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    That must mean - DON'T think you're alone :) Welcome to SF helephant, we are all here to support each other and find insights that can help our situations/conditions. Things can change for the better when we keep looking for the answers and sticking in there :)
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Helephant can you get in to see a doctor on call on hospital or walk in clinic in your area to get something for the voices ok to get them to be quiet again Do not let your roomates bully y ou out of your home tell them you will not leave and that you are trying hard to get some supports in place re your getting doctor to help you. You do not have to move ok
    Please continue to talk to us here we are listening
  6. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Felt compelled to respond to this, partly because vI sort of understand how you feel. All though would never say I know exactly how you feel as those are your own thoughts.

    I moved 200 miles to a different city to be in a job I wanted to be in, one I am sat at my desk right now that is how dull it is, now I don’t have many friends here I literally isolated myself so all those doubts and thoughts and voices telling me what an awful person I am come back. So what can you do?

    Me well I think it is a chance to try do all those things you are scared of positive things, things that will help you. That is what I am trying to do. Even if it makes me anxious, I am meeting new people okay albeit not becoming friends, abut trying new things I have always wanted to do because no one knows me.

    I guess it is all about looking at ways to turn a negative into a positive and make it work for you, if that makes sense?
  7. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Hello Helenphant,

    I was verbally abused as a child by my step dad. Eventually his negative words became my inner voice. It was all I knew and I just accepted them as who I was. This couldn't have been further from the truth. Challenge these voices. Do the opposite of what they claim you are. You will find that their claims are empty. I punished myself through recklessness. It was like playing Russian roulette with my life.
    I nearly paid for it with my life.

    I encourage you to stop punishing yourself. Whatever you don't like about yourself you can change. Reject those thoughts; they are preventing you from seeing how great you truly are, and can be. Humans are made with amazing capabilities. We can accomplish anything we put our minds to. Everything begins as a thought. Effort makes that thought bloom into action. This is proven to me on a daily basis. You have my thoughts and prayers.


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