In Need of Someone Who Actually Cares...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Ahmandah, Feb 24, 2013.

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  1. Ahmandah

    Ahmandah Member

    So pretty much I'm jus gunna tell you exactly what I am doing right now...
    Laying on my bf's brother's couch in the dark, trying not to cry so everyone hears me because it will piss off my bf and his bro will kick us out. My chest hurts and my scars burn and I want to self harm so badly jus to be like, this is what you are doing to me *insert bf's name here, we'll call him Boy.* I am sick of my life and where I am and I can't jus fucking leave cuz I love him and I am stuck here in this place where he doesn't give a fuck about me 90% of the time.
    I jus want someone I guess. Jus company... To distract me from my craving to self harm and to distract me from the fact that the person who says he loves me could care less if I feel off the face of the earth...
  2. Broken4ever

    Broken4ever New Member

    I care - I cut too
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi Ahmandah. I am sorry you are living like that. you do not deserve to be living with someone who does not care about you most of the time. I hear ya that you love him. I am thinking of how you can get through the next hours without self harming. the first thought that comes to mind is can you go to the chat here? I think that you go in to the main area. And then have to choose a room to go into. Because the main area is just a landing point. As far as I remember, people do not chat there. I think the best thing may be to get your mind off of things by talking in chat here. Hopefully that can help enough to get you through tonight.

    Are you in counselling at all? It may be a good idea to get some help to try to get the self harming more under control. I know that its not that easy. believe me. But with some good support and help.... it can get more under control.
  4. HannahLuv

    HannahLuv Member

    I care.

    I understand wanting to be with someone...anyone, but dating someone who doesn't care and who hurts you is just another form of self-harm.
    Being alone is hard, and I don't know all of your situation, but it may be better.

    I was close to cutting earlier, but posting on here and trying to help others kind of tricks me into following my own advice.
  5. f5j23jk2

    f5j23jk2 Well-Known Member

    Someone to distract yourself won't help much if you're still there feeling bad and alone in that place.
    You need a new place to stay, where you're welcome and don't feel bad. Distracting yourself from the problem won't help much, you need to stop it at it's source to stop it from happening.
  6. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    I know you said you love him. And granted, I don't know your whole situation; but if he's making you feel bad about yourself 90% of the time, it sounds like you would be better off trying to get out of your current situation. Walking away from someone you love does hurt, but that hurt can lessen with time. Staying in your current situation will continue to hurt more and more... you deserve better and I hope you fight for it.
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Hey, you can talk to me if you want...I've self harmed for a while, but trying to quit (currently on about a month of not cutting). So you can talk to me anytime if you need to talk things out.
  8. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Not to be insensitive, but why would you be with someone who doesn't really sound like he cares?
  9. Ahmandah

    Ahmandah Member

    Boy wasn't always like this. Idk if it's all the stress we are both in, or if it's jus Fate saying "F you!!!!" to us and we are drifting... He can be the sweetest thing ever and I know I'm difficult sometimes. And I know my lack of eating hurts him. But if I'm not making myself bleed then I'm surprising myself and doing amazingly well...
    I hope that it's all jus stress only and that things get better soon. Because I cannot trust myself to be alone right now and I need that love and support at this time more than I have before.
    As far as counseling, not yet. I haven't found one I like and can afford now that I have no insurance... I fill my meds Thursday and so that will help a little bit, but having to be on them is far more discouraging than cutting would be. I hate having to rely on things, but I rely on Boy, my body, and love to keep me going... Without any of those three, I'm lost...
  10. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    I know what you mean about relying on the meds. I feel the same way. BUT I take them. Because if something acaually can help, then I want to be responsible enough to do it. I do not love doing it. But it is important. Will you make sure to get them filled on thursday and take them? Because I personally want you doing anything that can help :hug:
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