I've been in physical pain for the last five days due to an infection. I started treatment today, but can expect another few days of hurt. I've been taking painkillers, but they aren't helping. At first it distracted me from wanting to kill myself, I'm weak and tired, but I'm thinking about it again. A few other things have happened. I won't be going in to uni for the rest of the semester. I don't want to go back at all, I don't feel like I can finish the semester, there's a few weeks left, a few assessments. I just don't want to be here anymore. I can't deal with any of this. There is no happiness in my life, only pain and emptiness. That sounds pretty dramatic but it's on point. i don't feel as emotional about it as I did, I'm really worn out. I don't want to be here.