In pain

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by captain2004, Feb 17, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. captain2004

    captain2004 New Member

    I'm married, and I've gotten permission to write my thesis. All thats standing between me and a job is my requirement to get a publication submitted by August. My boss is reading it, and can take away anything good that my future will hold in a pen swipe. He isn't a nice guy, either.

    I've become hopeless. All I can think about is how if I jumped in front of the XXXX the pressure would be gone. I'd be free from feeling like the world is on my shoulders and disappointment and ruin is all I give to the people around me. My drinking has gone up a lot.

    I feel like crying all the time, and I feel like I'm about to have a heart attack. People at work are beginning to see me cracking up under the pressure. I'm driving my spouse crazy with my crushing anxiety and obsessions. Change won't happen in my lifetime. I can't see my way out of my looming disaster.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 17, 2010
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I went to graduate school and man I did crack...I left in the middle of midterms, lived on a hippy commune, shacked up with a massage therapist 5 years my junior, let me hair turn to dread locks and slept in a teepee in the mountains for ten days and almost got kicked out for good... Ya I cracked big time!

    My point is that graduate studies are BRUTAL but you are so very close, all you worked for is about to pay off so hang in there. I take it you are part of a university which most likely has mental health services that you can part take in, could you look into that? Everyone who plays off graduate studies as a piece of cake is a fucking liar and a fake so please know you are far far from alone in your struggle.

    What are you studying may I ask?

    We are here for you...

    Love, Bambi
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.