in pain

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by among the stars, Aug 8, 2010.

  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    im so sick of feeling everrything under the sun except feeling ok or happy. i dont even kno what those words mean. i hate hiding everything i feel, hate that people will not give me a chance to get better on my own, i kno it has been a long time but i have so much shit to work thru that i cant just talk it out once and say "ok im good now" IT DOESNT FUCKING WORK THAT WAY! no none understands that. i look at my grandparents and i see 2 people happy with their lives, i look at my "friends" and see them happy and going with the flow of life. I see me and see NOTHING, just empty nothing. people ask me all the time how have u been? and i say the easy fine or good but its anything but fine. i dont like to talk about it but i fucking hurt, i wont let it out, have been hurt so many times that hurting inside is better than being hurt by someone else. all i want to do is curl up in a corner and cry my heart out but i cant do that....everytime the tears begin to flow i just forve them back down. i kno someday im gonna blow up and lose it on the wrong person but theres nothing i can do about it. i get so angry that everything has turned out wrong, mom would hate me if she were here now...if she knew what i was now. i dunno why i keep trying to live...
     
  2. Ryan1

    Ryan1 Well-Known Member

    Gotta love bottling things in.... Not. I know its incredibly hard to talk, but you need to find one person that you can let them in. Hell, Maybe even writing all the stuff you feel/hate down, that couldn't hurt, right?

    I actually just got done crying. Not in a corner though, in the shower. Your grandparents didn't have perfect lives. No one does.

    I know you probably wont, but I'm here to talk. That's why I joined. To help and be helped. I hope we can change you (and me) from :( to :cool: (<-- That's us being total Gangstas.). Cause you are awesome, I just don't think you know it yet.

    And, your mother would NOT hate you... And cry. Don't hold it back.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    your mother would never hate you she would hug you and hold you until the pain went away she would love you always
     
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I agree with violet..Your Mum would only love you and understand the pain you are in....:hug::flowers: