i am so done. i have been suffering from borderline personality disorder and anxiety my entire life. i have been hospitalized over fourty times. i have tried all the different meds in the world, and all the different types of therapies. i even had the ect treatments and those didn't work. i was recently hospitalized for two months. i was placed in a horrible group home, and am reciieving horrible outpatient services. i have no help when i am in crises because the local hospitals are not taking me anymore. the only hospital that will take me is the state hospital, and that is not helpfull at all. there is a three week waitlist, so when i have a crises the only thing i can do is go to the er and sit there for three weeks without any treatments. i have lost all family. i have lost all friends. my family tells me all the time to just kill myself and do all of them a favor. maybe they are right? i have no possibly way out of this hell except to kill myself. how do i do this?