in the end

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by galoskale1115, Mar 27, 2012.

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  1. galoskale1115

    galoskale1115 New Member

    i am so done. i have been suffering from borderline personality disorder and anxiety my entire life. i have been hospitalized over fourty times. i have tried all the different meds in the world, and all the different types of therapies. i even had the ect treatments and those didn't work. i was recently hospitalized for two months. i was placed in a horrible group home, and am reciieving horrible outpatient services. i have no help when i am in crises because the local hospitals are not taking me anymore. the only hospital that will take me is the state hospital, and that is not helpfull at all. there is a three week waitlist, so when i have a crises the only thing i can do is go to the er and sit there for three weeks without any treatments. i have lost all family. i have lost all friends. my family tells me all the time to just kill myself and do all of them a favor. maybe they are right? i have no possibly way out of this hell except to kill myself. how do i do this?
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    For starters, don't listen to your family.... I know that once you tell people you are mentally ill, it is a sure fire way to lose a whole host of them: friends & family alike. Which is why I prefer the motto: more mystery, less history! Who's business is it, any way? As for you, I give you my ardent praise for battling through such misery and torture and the sheer hell of the hospital. I know, I've been a resident a dozen or so times my self; & at this point, it's beyond diminishing in its returns. But there is some thing to be said for perseverance. And I think you need to reward your self more for all that you've endured. Pain may seem like your only friend, but I hope that one day very, very soon, pleasure returns to your door! Good Luck To You.
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I am so sorry to hear all of this, especially the way your family is treating you. I don't agree with them at all and that's just horrible to say. People are the same with me, so I can understand how you're feeling. I hope you don't do it...I wish there was more I could say but my thoughts are with you.
  4. rv498

    rv498 Well-Known Member

    Yeah don't listen to ur family. Don't think too much about anything. Think simple. Just let everything go and think small like what I am gonna eat. What music I am gonna listen to? ...and so on. Focus on hobby to consume ur time. This helps me a lot.
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