In the middle

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by PandorasToybox, Mar 11, 2010.

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  1. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Theres a long story behind all this but to keep it short, things have been a nightmare since my parents seperation.
    As a side career of sorts, I exercise & show horses. A few months back I took on my moms horse for training...for free. However on & off shes been having these MAJOR blowouts about how I ruined her life, how she wants me off the horse, & a whole crap-load of not sooo friendly stuff.
    Everytime she does that she claims she doesnt think we should talk or see eachother & so on.
    However usually 2 days after she'll call me like nothing happened. Ask me to work her horse, go to lunch whatever.
    She always plays vicitim & it drives me INSANE. It has had HUGE mental/emotional, & physical effects on me. Im drained, my marks are on the line, Im not sleeping & I feel caught in the middle.
    My dad bounces back & forth on his feelings towards this. He says in her fragile condition I should just forgive her & move on. But it happens at least twice a month & Im TIRED of it.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you need to just draw boundaries with her. tell her next time she is not pleased with you then she is to take her horse else where. You are not her dumping ground I think it is time to just seperate yourself from her for a while live your own life let her deal with her life Tellher to get professional help as you are becoming ill because of her. Time to walk away
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Not to make light of your situation but being female I KNOW there is atleast once a month when I really cant be held accountable for what I say or do. And yes after a few days I'm back and think things should be exactly where they were. That could account for atleast one of her monthly epidoses with you. Not saying it's right that she does that but can understand.

    I agree with violet. Might be one of the hardest things you will have to do but set up those boundaries. If you stand up for yourself she will have no choice but to either listen or take her show somewhere else. Either way it's a win win for you and you can get yourself back to where you want and need to be.
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