In the Middle

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by justMe7, Jul 16, 2011.

  1. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Has anyone ever felt like this? Bare with my explanation, I tend to ramble.

    Have you ever felt that you are in between being unhappy and happy? I don't mean when you're mute and stuck, I mean when you can shift and take either onboard and you truly feel it.

    I've been experiencing this alot recently. I'm defiantly not anchored as far as my moods are concerned, which more than likely let's me feel this way. I feel deteached but still as who I am. So when I sit down, I feel like I am on that edge, to either overall moods, just waiting to plunge in and be subjected by either or. I think I am struggeling to make my own choices and am riding the waves of music and things around me dramatically. But once I begin to ride those waves, I apply it to everything I'm having trouble with and feeling. So, if I'm this middle ground, and start thinking properly, how I directy and allow myself to percieve things dramatically affects the direction of my moods. Almost like im spilling a bucket of feelings that streams across the floor, and in this case the floor being who I am. .. that doesn't make sense does it. :tongue:

    Right, I'm conflicted about things around me so it's making all my feelings and thoughts huddle around me in essence wrap themselves around me. Their substance is always the same, but their motivation and ability to be used very malluable. I feel almost subject to the environment around me.. It's starting to piss me off to be honest.

    I try though :) It's easier to get all depressive though, and when Im around negativity, idk it's odd. Takes awhile for me to flush my system, but in the process I'm allowing it to affect how I percieve things with other people and how I talk to them. If I experience something that's a bit intense, other things that associate to those feelings feel intesnified and make me a bit panicky. So.. im confusing the life out of some perticular people because I feel so close to them.

    I think it's just insecurity and I don't have any barriers or convidence or knowledge in who or what I am in contrast to other things so things are so easily able to flow around me. Annoying and a bit worrying because I feel im losing people but slowly chipping them away each day, but then again, I keep trying to smile and enjoy the mmment a bit more :) Right now it's about enjoying the moment and subjecting myself to positive things. I just feel, very in the middle. Like every barrier has been ripped down and smashed apart. Not all, I still have some key ones, but at this range, it's ... hmm...
     
  2. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    Just to let you know that I’ve read your post. I suppose that I can say that I have an idea about how you feel…

    With loving wishes and hugs :hug:
     
  3. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Shiet i posted this in the wrong section.
    yar I didn't expect anyone to be able to relate really, was meant to be posted in the rant section.

    It's just one of those things :smile: You can either choose to live your life for the better, or choose to let it degrade and surround yourself with negativity. Im just having a bit of trouble letting the better parts in, but I can and am :smile:
    Thanks for the reply :hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 16, 2011
  4. LoveBeing

    LoveBeing Well-Known Member

    Yes, you CAN - I'm 100% with you on that :biggrin:

    I'm happy for you that you are doing what you can :pinkrose: