I am a complete miserable and 'no one' for now on, nobody wants me or ever calls me anymore, feels like I have no hopes going on in my mind same as my body keeps fading away till its dust, why cant I be like a happy 'normal' who lived like the every day where just like the same, weekends, holidays, weekends, holidays...<-> <-> weekends, holidays... nothing special just like a normal family, I want that, not fucking crazy thing, with head under water you cant see the reality. Then there is just one thing you can do, suicide. I am not JUST sad/suicidal(call it whatever you want I do not care!), I am depressed and then they're just leaving me, can it gets any worse?! Is this friendship then Im the happiest on earth. Should I be blamed for being such a 'sad' person, im sorry I didnt mean to... oww, that WAS illegal, to be blue.?? I am just wasting time in this shithole, I tried, I was being nice, treated you well, took you to cafés, movies, were party all nights... is that MY fault then Im SORRY... guess folks are just looking for the outsides, INside doesnt matters ANYmore. Dont start looking... They will find you anyway and they sure will Kill you.