So I was doing good for a while. I stopped even coming to SuicideForum, I was getting clean and sober and everything seemed like it was going good and then the shittyness hit me like a ton of bricks. And it hasnt left. On Sunday night the RCMP came to my house after I called the crisis line, got frustrated and hung up on them. I was kept in the hospital overnight, and then on Wednesday evening my family got worried about me and took me to the hospital again. Prior to that I had gone 5 months and 10 days without a hospital visit or a visit from the police. I am still going to AA, NA, and CA meetings for my drug and alcohol problems and I am still clean and sober but I dont know how long I can keep my shit together for, I really just want to hurt myself.