In trouble.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Desperately, Dec 6, 2015.

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  1. Desperately

    Desperately Member

    Hi, I used to come here sometimes, but I can't remember my log in information.
    Right now I'm feeling very suicidal. I'm under a safety contract with my case manager until tomorrow morning. I'm afraid that I'm going to do it soon. The thing was that I was at peace with this and was just waiting for God to tell me it was time. I'm older and live with my retired mother and my 7 year old son. I just want it to stop. A little over a month ago I took mild overdoses two days in a row and cut really bad. I need to talk and have no one to talk to.
     
  2. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Desperately, I hope you are still with us. Being older and living with your retired Mom must be difficult. But I know that 7 year old son needs you, and I suspect your mom does too. You say you just want it to stop. If you feel able, go ahead and elaborate on that. You can always talk here. Your identity is protected and everyone here has been close to ending it all for any number of reasons. We are here to listen to you and to support you in any way we can. As to God, I have asked many times for him to take me. But that does not seem to be his plan for now. And suicide is never his plan. So please talk to your therapist Monday. And feel free to visit us often. You can post on the forum or drop into the chat room. Someone is usually there. Please take care of yourself and give this battered old world a chance.
     
  3. Desperately

    Desperately Member

    I just want to die and have all the pain stop. I know that God will tell me when it's the right time and I'm just trying to be patient. I can't trust my mental health team!!! They just want to lock me up and stop God's will. I have it set up that even if they manage to get me into the hospital I can do it there. This time is worse and has been going on longer than before. I've looked it up and everything says that I'm suffering bipolar depression with psychosis. I think it's bs. I'm just trying to do what needs to be done. They're the ones that are delusional.
     
  4. Penelope2343

    Penelope2343 New Member

    You are so brave and strong to be reaching out to others. You can get through this. God loves you and is there for you.
     
  5. Desperately

    Desperately Member

    I just want to die :'(
     
  6. Penelope2343

    Penelope2343 New Member

    Be brave. I've been there. I understand how frightened and alone you feel.
     
  7. Penelope2343

    Penelope2343 New Member

    You are not. You never will be.
     
  8. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    Have you considered finding another mental health care team, since you don't trust this one? Or, at the very least, get a second opinion.
     
  9. You can trust anyone. Think about it. This is GOD were talking about. What person can possibly stop God from carrying out his plan for you? Even if your mental health team locks you up God wont abandon you. When did he ever say that he would? Never. You can trust people. And even if they do bad things they wont escape Gods judgement nor will they impede Gods plan for you. Be strong and keep your faith. God will never abandon you and faith is the strongest weapon to have against all evil.
     
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  10. Desperately

    Desperately Member

    I freaked out in my therapist's office and was taken to the psych unit for over a week. I just got discharged today. The bad thing is that the thoughts are back and I'm not sure what to do.
     
  11. What sort of thoughts? And the best thing to do is talk to people who can hear you. It will always help in some way or form.
     
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