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In what ways are you suicidal?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mortdesinos, Jan 2, 2009.

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  1. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    In my case, it varies, but right now it doesn't include the typical feelings of low self-esteem, bitter hopelessness, and thoughts about how I'm going to end it.
    It's the pervasive feelings of loneliness, solemnity, drained emotions, and distractability. I am having racing thoughts at times, not of death, but remembrance of the moments past, in which I actually felt mentally alive. I am having trouble planning for the future and staying fully awake. There is a sense of urgency on my part to evade and eventually get rid of these feelings. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I don't know what lies ahead.

    Maybe if we share, we'll see the various forms of depression, and those who find that they are suffering in a different way than others can provide assistance.
  2. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I feel suicidal, because i feel alone, i feel like a burden to those people who do care about me and try to help me, i feel selfish and generally horrible.
  3. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    i am suicidal i think, because i am out of steam. i dont want to keep trying to pick myself back up
    i want to give up
    but itys nothing to do with not liking myself
    or bitterness or any of the sort
    i just dont want to keep trying
    i'm done
    but i need a method so
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I sometimes feel suicidal because I feel that I will never amount to anything, that everyone is against me and that no guy will ever want to marry me. As soon as the suicidal thoughts go away, those thoughts disappear.
  5. Alexpt2

    Alexpt2 Well-Known Member

    I'm suicidal because I hate the world around me. From my point of view the world is a complete and total shit hole which I never asked to be a part of in the first place. Every day is the same. I live with so much pent up anger, rage, frustration which never leaves me. It's always there, its constant and crippling. I'm tired of my life and I dont want to live it anymore. Hell, I never asked to be born anyway.
  6. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    physical problems, no longer a real man thanks to a low/non existant testosterone, problem that keeps me up at night because I cant sleep on my stomach and sides and I get a constant ache from a certain area, problem with my head where I am dizzy and out of it all the time

    I am no longer suicidal at this point, just in a state of hell, can not rationalize what I did to my life, a year ago I was the clearest thinking healthiest person on the planet
  7. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    My suicidal feelings are deeply embedded in me. I feel suicidal whether my mood is happy or sad. Whether I have things to do or nothing to do. I have it in my system that it is better not to be than to be. I'm working hard on changing the feelings that I am undeserving of life. My therapist is helping me the most.
  8. betteroff

    betteroff Member

    I have no interest nor desire. In anything.

    I am extremely tired. All the time.

    I have a history of abuse and I have no basic trust whatsoever in people. I can't be with people but I'm miserable without as well.

    I'm positive I would be even physically self-destructive if only it had no consequences.
  9. Locket

    Locket Well-Known Member

    i want to die, to get away from everything, to finally get rid of the thoughts and memories i have in my head! i want to die because i hate myself. i hate who i've become because of what happened. i hate that i can't do anything right, nothing is good enough. i can live.. and feel like the dirt that he walks on, or die, and not have to think about this.. one.. moment.. longer
  10. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    My constant emotion is severe depression.

    months of my year are dedicated to extreme suicide ideation, social anxiety, social isolation and heavy bouts of self-injury. I first attempted suicide at 9, haven't known much since.
  11. I've had depression since childhood. I didnt have many friends growing up and even now I have a hard time getting close to anyone. Today I was triggered to thinking about suicide and I tried to talk to someone about why I was depressed and I was completely shut down. My biggest problem is that no one really wants to listen and I have no choice of bottling it up. Then when I snap I look like a douche bag. I always try to be there for everyone else but when I desperately need someone, everyone else is wrapped up in their own stuff. I feel like a burden. I have anxiety too.
  12. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    I think trying to let it out and making friends may lead you out of this. It is a much better way of tackling the situation than remaining hopeless. Even if you feel hopeless, there's no harm in taking risks and stepping over your social boundaries, is there? I find myself making assumptions based on nothing more than my faulty interpretations. There are so many reasons why people do (or don't do) something, and it may take a concerted effort to figure it out. That's my take, anyway.
  13. InfernoX

    InfernoX Member

    I feel trapped in the neverending routine that is my life. I spend most of my time alone, and when I am around people I don't talk to them. I've never liked talking; always been shy. Although when High School started I did make some friends which was great, but these past few months I rarely talk to anyone anymore. I don't know why I don't; I want to. I just... can't.

    Worse yet, certain people have started talking to be in a condescending manner, like they feel above me because of my problems. Everyone else just looks at me like they're scared of me. :/
  14. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Why im suicidal? broken heart and loneliness.
  15. jonstark

    jonstark Well-Known Member

    Emm... I want to kill myself and die? :unsure:
  16. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Like my therapist keeps telling me: I gave up on life, and I don't care anymore about anything or for the most part anyone including myself. One of my illnesses is socialphobia, I just can't be around people. I freak out and think everyone is talking about me and making fun of me. I can't talk to anyone face to face because I freeze. I will start to say something and poof the thought is gone and I look stupid just standing there trying to remember what I was trying to say. My anxiety makes me physically ill. I break out in sweats, my blood pressure goes up, I feel like I am going to pass out. And I get major headaches out of nowhere, also get physically sick to my stomach and feel like I am going to hurl. Is that enough reason to feel suicidal? I just want it all to end so Ican have some peace!!!~Joseph~
  17. CrowsCounted

    CrowsCounted Member

    when I was in my early to mid teens i felt suicidal very often, i was depressed because every day i wasnt the person that i wanted to be and i couldnt understand why. as ive gotten older its changed into a general disinterest in all things. nothing i do feels like fun, nothing i do makes me happy. seeing old friends doesnt invoke emotions, friends who have died didnt bring sadness to me. A very close person to me died a few years ago, and it was like i couldnt feel anything, aside from the guilt and shame that came as a result of not feeling sad, but even those dont sting anymore. I feel that i will never meet someone or fall in love again because any woman i meet is unable to see past the cold mask that eventually became my expression. They cant see the passion and love inside of me because I cant communicate it anymore. Maybe I dont have it after all. I feel that I would rather die tomorrow then spend the rest of my life becoming less and less connected to the world around me
  18. nz10040

    nz10040 Member

    i just feel like no one understands me and im so tired of having that fake smile on, i wish my friends could see what im going through:sad:. i feel so lonely, empty, confused and just i dont know this feeling is just sooooo strong :cry::cry::cry:
  19. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    i feel hopeless, sad, angry. a mixture of emotions all together and i dont know why i feel what i feel.

    i cry for random reasons during the night but i dont know why
    i dream of death, whether i be asleep or daydreaming

    i feel no happiness when things should make me happy
    i feel selfish and always guilty for whatever i do

    i feel like im messing up my life on purpose
    i stopped talking to people a lot

    i dont know
    so many things
    i self harm,,,i dont know. :'(

    i wanna go cry now
    this thread is very triggering

    i have headaches all the time
    i dont wanna sleep
    and when i sleep i dont wanna wake up

    nothing i do is right, and thats what my parents tell me
    whenever i listen to music i think of him
    whenever i sleep and wake up i think hes mine
    but hes not..and he was for but a day...and he left me
    maybe when he moves to California, things will be better for me
    until then i have to keep trying to stay alive, or die.

    i first tried commiting suicide when i was 1/2 years old, give or take.
    it was accidental my parents say, but i think it wasnt.
    i overdosed on my grandma's medication.

    i also have a bad past.
    my grandma cut as well, carved the same name in the same place
    then she killed herself when i was in kindergarden.
    my grandpa got shot in a party store.
    both my parents are depressed, and you can tell by the looks on their face.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 4, 2009
  20. Vanq

    Vanq Active Member

    I see the rest of my life as a long chore with no reward to make the toil worthwhile. The thought of being stuck in this pointless existence for another several decades is incredibly exhausting, and so I would rather die sooner than later.

    Same here.
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