I just feel so hopeless these days... like if I can't even get through simple high school classes or work without feeling too tired or unmotivated how the hell can I hope to make it through college in the fall? I can't even socialize with my best friends without feeling like it's too hard and feeling like a burden on them. How can I expect to have a good future like this? And my family.... they are exhausting... everyone's always fighting and my mother is just ridiculously cruel. I'm so tired of being made to feel bad for being born. Like I chose it or something. I just want her to stop and I don't want to be afraid to go home. I want to go home and not be walking on eggshells. I hate my job; everyone treats me like I'm stupid. I'm not. I'm really not. I'm an honor student-- I'm actually surprisingly smart. I hate school and having to deal with my classmates and teachers and homework and the whole system is just designed to make kids fail and it's just pointless. Everything is pointless. I just want this to stop.