Inadequate...Not Worth It?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by SmilePretty, Sep 24, 2007.

  1. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    i cant take her hurting me like this all of the time

    its always my fault and nothing i do is right. it ISNT my fault that you hate another one of my best friends, it is YOUR fault that you put me in the most awkward positions.

    you think that i will always be there for you no matter what, and i will. but its taking so much out of me.

    how come you can always get mad at me but i cant get mad at you without it being ten times worse?
    i hate myself so much right now because i cant be good enough to satisfy you.


    you are my best friend but right now, you are acting like my worst.

    i cant help but wonder if you even realize what your actions do to me. at least kyle can understand that even though you two hate each other, it doesnt have to be one or the other for me.

    if i had to choose right now, it wouldnt be you because despite what you may think, kyle is being a better friend than you. he doesnt get mad at me when i dont spend every waking hour with him or even see my boyfriend one time a week. it is almost ridiculous how jealous you are.

    i dont have to live my life anymore to please you

    but i dont know how to stop
  2. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Your friend should not be putting oyu in the middle of her feuds with your other friend. She should understand and accept the fact that you are going to be friends with who you want, when you want and if she can't understand that maybe she shouldn't be around. She knows you two are close friends, she knows you love her and care about her, so she shouldn't be making you feel like this horrible friend.

    From what I can see hun, you have done nothing and I mean nothing wrong at all. You have tried to stand by both friends it just seems that one of them is not being very compassionate or understanding. She seems to me like she's trying to manipulate you into dumping your other friend, don't let her sway you into doing that.

    You aren't a horrible person hun please know that. You are a true and loyal friend and if she keeps doing what she's doing maybe it's time to walk awya for a bit before she destroys you. I don't want her making you feel worse than she already has. PM me if you need to talk

  3. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    how can i just walk away though?
    i mean...she would get so angry with me and i dont think that i would be able to handle the guilt.
  4. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    guilt of what hun. You have done nothing wrong. I don't want you to walk away if you don't have to. If she is making you feel this bad, what kind of friend is she? Your two friends that dislike each other need to sit down and ahve it out and you need to tell them what it's doing to you.

    Stay safe lucy
  5. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    she would get so mad at me and then i will feel guilty and beat myself up about it
  6. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    It all comes down to your feelings, Lucy.
    If she's making you feel like shit a lot of the time, which it seems like what she's doing, perhaps it is time to walk away from the friendship until she sees what an awesome person you are, and how lucky she is to have you as a friend? Here if you want to talk. xx.
  7. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    that wont happen though

    if i walk away
    she will get mad and wont get it,
    it will be MY fault. it always is
  8. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    It's not always your fault, and it's not your fault. If you walk away, and she gets mad, oh well. Seriously, if she's making you feel this bad, she doesn't deserve your time, nor your friendship. Trust me, I know how hard it is to do something like this, I'm a teenage girl too, but the way you feel is more important than if she's mad at you over something trivial anyways. xx.
  9. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    i cant throw away a friendship that has been there for years. we are BEST friends. we are supposed to be able to get through anything...right?
  10. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    through anything...until she starts treating you like crap. true friends do not do that luc.
  11. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Lucy, if she treats you badly this often, maybe the friendship should be thrown away..:unsure:
  12. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    i cant just throw it away.
  13. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Who cares if she thinks it's your fault. Trust me, I dealt with a friend like this in my past, my "best friend". What a joke. She was only my best friend when I cut everyone else out of my life. And she was a great friend during those times. I loved her. But when she was pissed off, she would do everything she could to wreck my life, my friendships, my relationships, etc. I felt bad cutting her loose because we went through a lot together and she could really be great. But after the 9 millionth time I caught her talking behind my back and trying to fuck things up between me and my bf, I said enough already and stopped talking to her. Where is she now? From what I hear, doing the same old backstabbing bullshit she always did. Where am I now? Happily married to the guy she tried to pull me away from. It can hurt, and I did miss her, and there are things I miss about her still, but she was a toxic person and it was in my best interest to let her go and I am relieved and glad that I did.
  14. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Sometimes we do need to let things go that we really don't want to because holding onto them does more harm than good. you don't have to throw away the friendship hun. Talk to her and tell her how she is making you feel. Let her know that if this is the way she is going to continue to act, then you will have to take time away from her. Maybe she will learn to appreciate what a truly wonderful person you are if she has to do things without you being a part of them. Do not feel guilty in any way. It is she that is misunderstanding the true meaning of friendship, not you. You may actually be helping her by telling her the truth. If she chooses to walk away, then maybe she isn't the friend you thought she was. People change. They grow and mature in different directions. Sometimes this change leads you down different paths. Never forget what a precious person you are. :hug: