inadvertent rambling

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by lurktheshadows, Oct 12, 2010.

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  1. lurktheshadows

    lurktheshadows Well-Known Member

    Everyone hates me.
    I don't blame them.

    How can I expect anything different when I can't even like myself?
    ...I feel like life abandoned me... and I'm not really living, I'm just in this limbo

    Do you feel it? The crushing dejection? The jilted leering stare of your spirit..blaming you..your impetuous, idiotic mind that ruins your life time and time again...and it's beyond you're are under the scrupulous gaze of thousands gone before you...The world is ravaged, and leaking, and lies at your feet..a corpse...and you are culpable.
    ..I am despondent, I am listless, I am worthless...and I just keep blathering on. But I welcome this depression, because I welcome elevation, and I am resting in my valleys, because I savor pain.
    And I no longer mind if you don't understand me.

    I just wish everyone could see how much I love them...maybe then they would like me, maybe then they would care. Maybe then someone would touch me like they touch a kitten, tender and loving. I wish I were small and fragile, I wish my external matched my internal.

    This should probably be in the "let it all out" forum, well I'm here now, so I'll just post it.

    I's strange, but I don't want to escape depression anymore. I just want to lay here forever. There's nothing...and no one out there for me anyway.

    Sorry. =/
  2. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I love you and i don't know why that doesn't mean anything to you.

    I don't know what else i can say or offer to make you understand that or for it to be enough.
  3. lurktheshadows

    lurktheshadows Well-Known Member

    that means everything to me <3
    I'm sorry I'm so insane. I just....nothing's ever enough, nothing can save me.
    I sicken myself. I am a revolting biological mishap.
  4. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    So, i'm insane too and we can be insane together.

    And trudge through this fucking mud of the world, but at least do it together.
  5. lurktheshadows

    lurktheshadows Well-Known Member

    I think I'm too parasitic to be around anyone
  6. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    If anything you ever said to me is true, then give this a chance...Frey give yourself a chance.
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