inceldom

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MisterBGone

ReaLemon
SF Supporter
#21
Hello,

I haven’t read through all of the responses, so forgive me for my ignorance—but I did see some of them from the other thread. I don’t come from an area of “expertise,” on the subject matter - however - having only heard the term, ‘incel,’ for the first time over the course of the past year. It sounds like I am in the minority in this regard.

I believe I first heard it mentioned, brought up, or discussed on the Joe Rogan, podcast, but this may have been in passing—because I can’t remember a thing he said on it! I also rememeber Dr. Drew (celebrity rehab, love line, etc.), mentioning on a podcast last winter, probably with a comedian, when informed of the term — because he had not been very familiar with it either — that it did not sound rooted in fact (or that it didn’t make much sense). . .

anyway, all of that is not to say that this “movement,” “phenomena,’ of whatever else you’d like to call it, doesn’t exist - as it apparently does - according to some others who have enlightened us on this subject. I had no idea of the perceived ‘hostility,’ or ‘hatred,’ towards wo-men, for instance. . . In my case, it is the exact opposite of that—for if I did actually dislike them, then maybe I wouldn’t be so disappointed. But I certainly don’t blame them. Not at all, I think it’s more a victim of circumstance, in my case, and almost like a cruel twist of Fate, or something to that effect.

if I were good enough , however, I’d have been able to overcome whatever obstacles were presented in front of me. Adopting that mindset, there’s not much in the failure category in life I could’ve not controlled or altered, that said, and there’s been some pretty wired shit that’s happened in my life, that’s so outside the box, had it not happened to me, and it was explained by somebody else, as having happened to them - I think them stretching the truth, if not down right making it all up!

but back to this, taking you at your word, and that you are seriously interested in an informed philosophical discussion or debate on the matter, I applaud your bravery for standing up to the masses, who, in a smaller scope forum can develop a pack mentality when it comes to firing back, and defending their viewpoints. So, regardless of whether or not you’re right, or correct, wrong or indifferent—you should feel and be free to express your view points base d on your experience (as we all can). These will of course all be unique. Maybe English is not your first language, that would make this even more difficult. It’s my only language and I can barely speak it—

some things to keep in mind. Try not to state opinions as fact. Especially when they can be so controversial- I would also advise against saying things that may appear to incite or evoke a strong emotional impassioned response (even if you’re not trying, and sincerely interested in their feelings...)

sorry I got disrupted there & have lost my train of thought... 💭 (burning frozen shrimp in the oven!) ;^) _yup! I can- do it all..;) some history from my own personal experience here (& no one else’s obviously 🙄); in years past - & it’s been some, so many of the pushback and aggressive, spirited opinions were likely coming from the minds of some members no longer actively participating in the forums; but I noticed that any time a younger male, complained about his lack, or inability of achieving or attaining a member of the opposite sex - in general - there was a tendency to “pounce,” or for that member to be shamed into feeling like they were the soul part of the responsibility of the problem. And while I wouldn’t absolve them from this mindset, and they certainly in some cases were asking for it (say, if they placed the blame on, or faulted ‘women,” as a whole for it...) // but this wasn’t always the case. What usually was however, was the tone and venom in some of the replies. Which was scathing in the sense that it was difficult for me to think of another scenario in which it would be politically correct, to slam or attack someone (sometimes appearing even - or seeming to go after their character - make it personal - with their statements. And as always the case, a bad idea in debates - is to stray off or lose focus on the topic - it’s like what they tell you in couples counseling- you don’t wanna go down the road of, “...& then there was this! And what about that. How about the time you - fill in the blank..,) // anyway, now I’ve talked so long I’ve lost my train of thought:

ah yes! Most of this was quite considerably in the rear view mirror (maybe 5-10 years ago), but then something happened a couple of years ago, or maybe even a few? And I don’t even remember the subject matter or topic of the thread—but at some point in the middle I simply jumped in and posed a question. Basically to the effect of this, as I’m trying to recall with some degree of accuracy. . . Why does everybody feel it’s their right to take a giant shat upon someone clearly hurting and in so much pain. (When usually, the ones doing the most damage with their mud-slinging have no first hand experience with which the O.P. is referring - that of being “single for life.” This does not exclude them from commenting , nor forming and articulating an intelligent, preferably somewhat well thought out reply; as opposed to the most well written’ zinger!” It’s sort of like, and this is a terrible analogy but I’ll make it anyway so as to illustrate a point: if someone had some serious depression in their life. And maybe it was only momentary. But they never got to the point or the place where they seriously considered suicide, and then looked at one or some of us, and said, (passing tremendous judgment), “Just get over it! I did, and if you were stinger — not so weak, so too, would you... think happy / be happy! That’s my motto.” All kinds of other cliche’s can be applied but the point is that, they, having never walked in the shoes of somebody who is suicidal before, though because of their history of depression, feels competent to offer up an experience, informed expert opinion on the matter and state it to you as factual. That they can use their intellect and their imagination, to right your wrongs. And if you weren’t such an imbecile. Maybe, just maybe, you would be in this position: that of being such a ‘fool!’ Again - a terrible analogy - but I think it illustrates my point as best I can make it in such great haste!
Just remember - we’re all human (too), regardless of what our titles may or may not be. . . Not sure exactly what it is you’re seeking; but perhaps you’ve already spelled it out? If you have not; and still wish to know the answers, then perhaps that is the best course of action from here. State it as directly as you can, with out staying all over the course of humanity and otherwise, as I have done ✅ here!
HA-
 

MisterBGone

ReaLemon
SF Supporter
#22
Forgot something from the thread of recent memory (in terms of numbers of years): it was brought up to me - & those participating in the conversation, that most women would not care, or wish (be comfortable with), admitting that they had never been in a relationship. I forget her explanation, but it went fairly not depth, offering may 3 good reasons as to why this could be so. . . Anyway, I think it was the film director, Spike Lee, who when once asked, if White People had any business commentating on the subject matter in some of his films (racism), because they couldn’t possibly know how it feels, to be black, since they have never been: and he said, that Yes, he thought that they did have that right to do so, and he felt that they could get well indeed know just how it feels if they thought about it we’ll enough (or words to t hat effect!)— ;)
 

Lisa the Goatgirl

She's less of an enigma now
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#23
Which was scathing in the sense that it was difficult for me to think of another scenario in which it would be politically correct, to slam or attack someone
Well, if someone advocated for the sake of another terrorist group like ISIS or the Real IRA for instance, that would be an example of another scenario where "slamming someone" could be considered politically correct. The incel community is more and more being officially determined to be a terrorist hate group, so they tend to be treated like members of a terrorist hate group.

Why does everybody feel it’s their right to take a giant shat upon someone clearly hurting and in so much pain. (When usually, the ones doing the most damage with their mud-slinging have no first hand experience with which the O.P. is referring - that of being “single for life.”
I've never gone through the experience of having my village bombed via collateral damage in the war on terror, or being radicalised to fundamentalist Islam, and yet i can still take confidence in my critique of members of ISIS, because i'm of the (evidently controversial) belief that belonging to terrorist groups is not a good thing, and pretty universally unacceptable, no matter what someone has been through.

While i'm not personally seeking to disparage this particular individual (maybe they really do just have the wrong idea of what the word "incel" means, in which case if anything i just want to inform them so they can make the best decision for their own sake and that of those around them), there are some ideas in this world that do not deserve to be treated as worthy of discussion like they possess any genuine merit. And as a result, those who see this truth will inevitably feel driven to treat the idea being presented with the derision it deserves. If the OP wants to renounce their usage of the word "incel" and instead just talk about how hard they have it never getting a relationship, they can be perfectly welcome here, and i'm sure plenty of others would be able to relate and empathise with what they're going through. But as it stands, they're advocating on the behalf of a movement that is overtly hostile and hateful towards women or really anyone capable of forming healthy relationships, and that is going to leave a nasty taste in reasonable people's mouths. It's not the OP that these people are "hating on", it's the movement that the OP claims to not only represent, but believe most single people unknowingly and unwillingly belong to.
 

MisterBGone

ReaLemon
SF Supporter
#24
Well, if someone advocated for the sake of another terrorist group like ISIS or the Real IRA for instance, that would be an example of another scenario where "slamming someone" could be considered politically correct. The incel community is more and more being officially determined to be a terrorist hate group, so they tend to be treated like members of a terrorist hate group.


I've never gone through the experience of having my village bombed via collateral damage in the war on terror, or being radicalised to fundamentalist Islam, and yet i can still take confidence in my critique of members of ISIS, because i'm of the (evidently controversial) belief that belonging to terrorist groups is not a good thing, and pretty universally unacceptable, no matter what someone has been through.

While i'm not personally seeking to disparage this particular individual (maybe they really do just have the wrong idea of what the word "incel" means, in which case if anything i just want to inform them so they can make the best decision for their own sake and that of those around them), there are some ideas in this world that do not deserve to be treated as worthy of discussion like they possess any genuine merit. And as a result, those who see this truth will inevitably feel driven to treat the idea being presented with the derision it deserves. If the OP wants to renounce their usage of the word "incel" and instead just talk about how hard they have it never getting a relationship, they can be perfectly welcome here, and i'm sure plenty of others would be able to relate and empathise with what they're going through. But as it stands, they're advocating on the behalf of a movement that is overtly hostile and hateful towards women or really anyone capable of forming healthy relationships, and that is going to leave a nasty taste in reasonable people's mouths. It's not the OP that these people are "hating on", it's the movement that the OP claims to not only represent, but believe most single people unknowingly and unwillingly belong to.
Huh? 🤔 ; ) . . & You were once a staff here?? : ) I rest my case!!! :D
 

MichaelKay

Well-Known Member
#28
I have sympathies towards both sides of the aisle here but I definitely understand why the word itself is toxic and perhaps not a good idea to allow in a place like this as it might attract the wrong crowd.

I see it as an expression of unfulfilled desires being blamed on others. And while I can understand the feelings are probably more akin to pathological jealousy than actual hate, it's still used today as an excuse to point blame outwards rather than encouraging introspection and positive changes. So while I can sympathise with people who feel so lonely they almost can't handle it and need to show aggression or negative feelings towards others to cope with their own inadequacies, it's clear a site like this can't allow that sort of ideas but has to keep focusing on positive changes and a positive mindset.

There are plenty of ways to address a situation like this without having to use that specific word. Again; The danger becomes it attracts the wrong crowd and encourages conflict rather than support and positive change.
 
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