Inconceivable Chance of Suicide

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by jinruk, Apr 11, 2012.

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  1. jinruk

    jinruk New Member

    summer 2011 I had an argument with my girlfriend. I ended up grabbing her by the hair and pushing her. I decided to leave to cool off and ended up spinning out on the highway and ended up on the left side shoulder where the divider wall is on the highway, I dont own a phone so tried to cross the highway and got hit by a car going 75 mph, Survival rate for getting hit by a car going 65+mph is >1%. I ended up with many major injuries jaws wired shut due to broken jaw on both sides now metal in both sides of jaw and chin, left leg completely shattered with metal now in my shin, ankle and thigh. (250,00 medical bill).

    Woke up on life support chained to the bed under arrest. Was arrested for jay-walking, and DUI as a pedestrian, Medical lab results proved I was not drunk but now the tickets are still in court and I am out on bond a year later. My girl also left that night back to her family a thousand miles away. She came back after I was released from the hospital and helped take care of me. Two months after I was out of the hospital I found out that she had sex with her ex-boyfriend one day after we had our fight. Basically the day after we fought she went a thousand miles away and had sex with someone else. When I confronted her she said she didnt at first but then I showed her the message she sent her ex and she start apologizing. I didnt tell her to leave or tell her I wanted to break up.

    During the next few months I tried to stay normal and not treat her to bad but sense I just got hit by the car and found out she had sex with some one else on top of legal troubles I began to push her away a bit and was a less then nice. Then one night I got drunk, blacked out and hit her, I was also told I tried to slit my wrist. She didnt leave this time I hit her but things between us were very bad, we should have went to counseling but I started going back to school and my body is now frail.She had decided she would leave soon because she was in school and didnt want to transfer mid-year, I didnt really want her to leave but she said she was going to. By this time i started being a jerk to her saying I dont know why i want to be with some one that cheated on me and things of that nature, then one night i just had a breaking point and told her to leave, considering she constantly let me know she was leaving the end of the school year any way. knowing she had no where to go, I didnt mean for her to leave the house that night just to plan on leaving soon.

    She left, we got in contact 2 days later I plead for her to stay and that I realized I made a huge mistake, i was unappreciative of all she did for me. She let me know that she had already withdrew from school and the whole time she was here she was already applying to other schools. Now that she is gone I dont know how to deal nor cope. I have lost my health, my job, my freedom and now the person I love. Now I have constant thoughts of suicide and have attempted once. I am pretty sure if she doesnt come back that I will commit suicide due to the fact I cant handle a break up on top of all the other problems I am dealing with. If she returns I will be going to counseling as we should both seek but if she doesn't I at least will
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are emotionally blackmailing her and that is NOT ok YOU need to go and get some therapy for YOU anger management for YOU and get yourself stable before getting back with gf
    You and her need to stay apart until both of you have gotten the therapy you need to be of use to anyone.

    Separate council ling first then couple council ling Do not use your illness to bring her back ok let her get help she needs and you get the help you need
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I think it would be a good idea for you to start getting some help... counseling, anger management, whatever it takes. Once you've done your best to take care of you, then maybe try to talk to her and see if she would be interested in starting over.
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