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I want to kill myself. But my reasons for doing so are somewhat cowardly. I refuse to face my issues. I am relativedly healthy but broke. Have no place to live, and have lost all interest in the things I used to enjoy. I could take positive steps to try and rebuild my life, look for work, try and improve my mental outlook, but I do nothing. It is my lazy indifference that has put me in this state and I am too unmotivated to change my life. I just don't give a shit about anything anymore. Too kill my self would be running away from my issues, but I want to do it anyway. I feel guilty about my suicidial thoughts because I feel people have far greater problems then me and are able to cope. Sorry, just venting. Good luck to you all and God bless...

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
It is not indifference hun it is depression a mental illness hun that makes us not want to fight makes us want to just crawl under a blanket and stay there You have no energy because your depression is winning hun Please do one step one thing go to your doctor and get some help okay therapy meds that will give you the energy you need the clarity of thought you need to get back that fighter in you hugs


Staff Alumni
As TE said, these reactions are characteristic to severe stress when one is depressed...apathy, distancing one's self from what is going on...you are not lazy...you are stuggling to find a way to resolve difficult issues...also, pain is not a contest...some people have more troubling situations and others have seemingly less, but it is how they affect the person that must be considered
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