Information/Advice request

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ccrw, Feb 20, 2014.

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  1. ccrw

    ccrw New Member

    Hello, 56 years old, finished up 1.5 years of treatments for rectal cancer about a year ago. This left me messed up in several ways which has left me suicidal.

    I work in slc utah and need to find some professional help. I've had depression issues in years past and once sought out professional help for depression, but at a bad experience trying to even get in to a doctor. Is there a list of someone that might be able to help with with the chronic issues resulting from post radiation, chemo and multiple surgeries, which have taken all the joy out of my life?
  2. ccrw

    ccrw New Member

    while I await moderation ... more info

    While I await moderation, a bit more information, as I’m a bit more down today than what has become my norm.

    One of the chronic results is a “chemo brain” which I assume would have been a temporary thing which occurred during the treatments but would eventually clear. It did not go away and I’m afraid I will soon lose my job because of the short term memory loss I know have. This on top of hardly recognizing myself anymore, I just feel different … it changed me, I can not explain this.

    Another chronic result is a bad case of Neuropathy with dead blocks of numbness for feet mixed with constant pain.

    These on top of a choice between another ostomy (had an ileostomy for 6 months after rectum first removed and do not want to go back there) or diapers for the rest of my life.

    I have never been unemployed and have always made a decent living, however my wife and I will be looking at a fixed SS income upon retirement. My understanding is that this income is based on some average of the last few years of one’s w2 income. If I lose my current job, I fear I will not be able to obtain new employment because of my age and mental condition.

    Not only is life physically miserable for me now, my logical mind tells me the best thing I could do for my wife would be to end it now, affording her the highest possible fixed income.

    Well, that’s it in a nutshell … I await getting fired and then really facing up to this thinking.

    Is there anyone here that can relate to this, or help get me in touch with someone that might?

    Thanks for your time.
  3. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    Re: while I await moderation ... more info

    Hi. Im in england so cant offer accurate advice.

    But what did the doctors offer as post treatment support. Id guess there are a number of cancer survivor charities which can offer more direct advice.

    Good luck.
  4. ccrw

    ccrw New Member

    Re: while I await moderation ... more info

    I feel paralyzed ... but yes, that seems the logical resource, I'll give them a call tomorrow, as I'm really feeling scared right now.
  5. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Re: while I await moderation ... more info

    Hi ccrw.. Sorry you got so many things to have to deal with..none of the membership on here are medical professionals.. We cannot give you medical counseling and medical advice..

    We are a peer to peer website.. We have many ppl here that really suffer with depression and other psychiatric conditions.. Also many here that deal with thinking suicidal thoughts and urges.. We will try to listen and and support in a non professional manner the best we can..

    Medical advice should come from the professionals!! I am almost 67 yrs old now..suffered wth many psych conditions and the medical staff trying to help me all these mentioned attempts which went wrong in therapy.. Thing is time to try with this again.. The right professionals can do wonders.. Did for me..

    Glad to meet you.. Call me Jim.. Hope you can make some friends here and are able to get support..
  6. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Re: while I await moderation ... more info

    Call 211 from your phone. It is the social services help line. They will be able to refer you to both the government agencies that can assist you in your area as well as many charities. If that does not yield results then please send me a private message here and let me knw specifically what type of supports you are looking for and I will be happy to help you search for local to you agencies and groups and find some numbers and points of contact for you.

    In the mean time feel free to post here about how you are doing - sometimes just talking can help some as well, particularly with our own mental attitude and outlook.
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