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Insecure and unsure

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Shannøn444, Jul 3, 2016.

  1. Shannøn444

    Shannøn444 Active Member

    I have always known that I wasn't straight. When all the other girls were talking about their boyfriend's or discussing boys I was fighting my feelings towards them. I used to be quite scared of the thought of being gay and would even cry. I planned to ignore my feelings and marry a boy and be happy because that how it should be, right?
    A few months ago after seeing how people had become more accepting and realising maybe it wasn't so bad I told my close friends I wasn't straight. I then faced the next problem if I wasn't straight what was I ? I didn't and still don't feel comfortable with labelling myself a lesbian, transsexual, bisexual or anything really. This confused a lot of people because here I was saying I'm gay but I'm not ?
    It wasn't that I didn't know what I was am it's that I don't want to be labelled. If I want to be treated the same as anyone else why would I go out of my way to label myself something different ? I didn't feel the need to label my love for another person. I wanted people to accept that the person I loved just so happened to be the same gender as me. This seemed to bother a lot of people and I wasn't accepted in the lgbt community as I was just "attention seeking"
    So after not being accepted I became unsure of myself again. I'm back to feeling insecure about myself.
    IamTetsuo likes this.
  2. ragermoon

    ragermoon Active Member

    No matter how many people make you feel like you need to label yourself, you don't. And an Lgbt "community" that doesn't accept you just because you don't want to label yourself, isn't a community you want to be a part of anyway.

    You don't need the world's approval... you need only yours. but support is important too. I encourage you to seek a different group, be it online or elsewhere, that can truly support you and how you feel without making you feel as though you need to prove yourself with a title.

    Good luck.
    Shannøn444 and lightning05 like this.
  3. lightning05

    lightning05 Well-Known Member

    I am sorry that you feel so conflicted but you are definitely right. You don't need to label yourself. I don't see myself as either gay or straight, I am just attracted to people ha ha. I have had strong romantic feelings for both women and men but does that make me bisexual? I don't know. I have also come across people saying that I am not a real lesbian, am "pretending" to be gay to fit in, etc, etc. It is nobody's business but yours and the person that you are with. Sexuality can be fluid and can change over time and with the different people you meet. Please don't feel pressured to label yourself or have to explain yourself to others. I do agree that you should find a different LBGT community that accepts you for who you are. Please don't put undo and unnecessary pressure on yourself! Take care.
    Shannøn444 and moxman like this.
  4. moxman

    moxman The "Perfect Life" YouTube channel is neat

    Maybe you should check out www.reddit.com it has a lot of "subredits" for all different sexualites. It is totally anonymous, so you can say what you want and no one will know it is you. Maybe you just have not found the right "label" that matches who you think you are, or more importantly how you feel.

    Take Care
    Shannøn444 likes this.
  5. Cronus

    Cronus Member

    Sexuality is a complicated topic. It's not just who (or what) you are attracted to. There's also a romantic side to it too. For example (and don't feel you have to use labels like I am), I'm Asexual. Which means I don't get sexual urges towards people. Love for asexuals is about sharing a common interest and loving people for who they are rather than how they look. For that reason, some people believe Asexuals are the best lovers, because the way you look doesn't matter to them, it's who you are that's important as Sex doesn't exist in their relationship.

    Back on topic, Asexuals may not have a sexual desire but they often have romantic desires. Such as being a Hetro-romantic asexual or a homo-romantic asexual. This basically determines the gender of the romantic relationship they desire (while sex and attractiveness still pays no part in it). What I'm getting at here is that sexual orientations can be complicated and mixed. Then add in fetishes and things get even more complicated...

    Good luck with your journey to understanding yourself. Remember, sexual orientation not a choice, it's, as I say, "the body you're in". It's not anyone's fault for being gay, it's just what their body wants, they have no control over it.
    Shannøn444 and lightning05 like this.