insecurity around family

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by colt45, Jun 25, 2009.

  1. colt45

    colt45 Well-Known Member

    Are any of you insecure when it comes to being around family. I know that i am. When ever we have get-togethers everyone talks about fun and fulfilling things that they have done; where I have done next to nothing but working and do not have a social life with working third shift.

    Also I feel that I being graded to an F in terms of my success. I am still working only part time at my dead-end job literally praying for a career advancement in a stagnate part of the chain.

    I do not have the money to afford to do anything extravagant because I am struggling to make my car payment, contributions to my IRA (individual retirement fund) and other needed expenses without use of my credit card (so I do not have to pay the incurring interest and penalty fees.)

    I just have nothing to say in terms of my life. I am unmarried, no girl friend, no friends, nothing to look forward too.

    I hate to say this but being around family is starting to be too much for me to handle at time. It is those times that I wish to be alone even more. :sad:
  2. reefer madness

    reefer madness Account Closed

    I'm insecure around everybody, family included.
  3. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I can relate! There was a period of about 10 years when family functions were just a horror for me. My sister and 2 brother's were all married and I was going from job to job. My father just couldn't talk to me as he was such a hard worker and family man.

    Things got better later on and I hope they will for you also! You can count on me as a friend if you ever want to talk. Feel free to send me a private message any time.
  4. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    With my immediate family, no, cause we're all kinda in the same boat. Never done anything fulfilling with our lives. But when we meet up with Uncles, Aunties and Cousins and distant family at weddings etc, I'm often insecure around them, cause they seem to be doing oh so well all the time :(
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    In general yes, when my cousins,aunts,uncles etc.. ask me what I'm doing with my life, I just change the subject :unsure: God,I hate when they ask things like that especially when they know I'm not doing anything :dry: It's rude :(
  6. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Ha ha! I know, right? :p I remember at my brother's wedding, my Aunt was asking me what I'm planning to do in September, and she was like "Are you going to continue with your French?" and she was just constantly bugging me, asking me to say something in French. I got a D for French, so I was feeling like a bit of a failure at that point, especially considering that my teachers were expecting an A from me. Her questioning didn't help. She meant well, but it touched a bit of a nerve.

    And another time, my Uncle was criticising my older brother for letting his life go to waste, baring in mind this was someone who hadn't even bothered with our family for years, not even so much as a Christmas card, so I dunno what gave him the right to criticise anyone.
  7. colt45

    colt45 Well-Known Member

    Plus when I am with family at gatherings. They stil view me as a kid. I try to start a converation and get cut off. I ahve to watch the kids even though I am tired after working a long day.

    Just being around them for too long gives me head-ache.

    Is there something wrong with me.
  8. colt,
    I understand how you feel in your post.
    It is so sad to me how family can make us feel like we are worth less than they are based on our differences.
    I never went to law school, I never married at all - let alone marry mr rich man, I rent an apartment- dopnt own a happy lil home, I work as much and as often as I can with my spinal disease and dealing w/ my past to support my children. I dont go to or do extravagant things either.
    \But I'm just trying to accept that those who judge us or look down upon us are from a universe where they cannot even comprehend our world.
    I think once we become more comfortable with our status and stop caring so much about what their opinions might be, we will feel less anxiety and stress around family, and any one else like that.
    I rarely see my family, and that is healthy for me. The times I do, I hold my head up high knowing Ive survived more than they can underrstand and I work far harder even id for far less pay than they can even ever pretend to undrstand.
  9. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Yep I can totally relate.

    With family it's worse, because I feel I can escape this situation with friends by not having any (in fact it's the main reason I don't have any).
    But with family, you can't really escape them. They always have questions, they always want to show off about their kids and it's just soul destroying.

    I am dreading christmas because I get to go through another round of bullshit and I just hate it.
  10. JonathanK

    JonathanK Well-Known Member

    That sucks. Yah, I feel weird around my family too.
  11. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I can relate to you.. I went six years staying home during the holidays because I was the weird uncle..I finally went to christmas get together and everyone was excited I was there.. After about an hour I found my self sitting outside while everyone else was enjoying themselves..Since then I have joined in every christmas but end up sitting in the corner just watching everyone..Half my nephews and neices don't even talk to me because I am an embarrasement to them..So yes I am uncomfortable being around family...
  12. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way around family!
  13. colt45

    colt45 Well-Known Member

    Not looking forward to Easter Sunday with family. I was hoping to work it but I am off and I can not get out of it.
  14. LotusFlower

    LotusFlower Antiquities Friend

    Yes me to, at most family gatherings I go but end up staying upstairs in a room.
  15. pinkpetals33

    pinkpetals33 Well-Known Member

    oh gawd, I am so gald those days are over. Honestly, you have every right not to say or share anything.

    In the past, when I was in and out of hospitals and my life going no where in terms of job, edcuation etc,.....she use to lie and say "Oh she is finishing school...still plays the violin etc etc." I mean, down right make shit up to the family...because it would have been an embarrassment to the community...anothe reasons I never go anywhere. The psych ward I was in, one of the patient's mother recognized me and I flat out denied who I was......thank goodness no more family stuff.
  16. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    I feel very out of place around family members, only the ones I don't live with. Usuaully, it's just because I don't know them well. Other times, well...

    I'm awkward around my cousin because I'm disappointed in her and what she's done. We used to be best friends but now...I don't like seeing her kids either. It's not that I don't care about them, just the opposite. I worry they're not going to grow up well with a mother like their's.

    I hate my aunt, actually hate. I don't want to talk about it all that much.

    I'm awkwad around my dad too. When we talk, I actually break out into hives. I really hate talking to him on the phone and I'm always silently wishing he'd shut up. I feel bad for feeling like this, as he's never done anything bad to me. I just don't want anything to do with him, for some reason.

    I don't like talking to his parents either. I feel like I'm supposed to love them, but I barely know them.

    Well this turned out a lot longer than it should've. Crud.