Insecurity ?

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Ive been dating since i was in grade 5, first relation was 2months.
Than grade 6 i had a 6month relationship, and a week later went into a 8month one..
Grade 7, puberty hit, acne, voice cracks i hit rock bottom with girls, lost my cutie look.
Grade 8, things went up had a gf for 2months, had a few girls friends,
The grade 9, 2 year relationship.. This is where things got foul for me, she was a huge flirt, other disrespectful things, and cheated on me once i know of, twice ive heard about, she lied to me several times.
Then, after that 2yr break up i got invole for another 2month relation, which all this girl did was flirt, sneak out with other guys/girls.
Then! after this girl, grade 11 i met this girl who was a cutter/bulimic.. but appearantly as ppl say now, hottest girl in our school (shes still messed up).. She cheated on me 2 weeks into the relationship, and towards the end i found notes/scrapes of paper saying she loved this other guy, and it tore me up.. Could'a killed this guy with one hit, but didnt touch him.

Now, if you managed to read all that, here i am now..
6Month relationship with a girl who cheated on her last boyfriend, cause "she didnt feel anything for him" I believe it, the dude is annoying.. especially when hes drunk, which ive seen too often..

Anyways, after my past i bunched up all my feelings and hardships due to my last girlfriends and i constantly feel like shes going to cheat on me, and when ever shes out i just keep repeating that "she wouldnt do that to me" and try to go on with my night..

I do love this girl, she is absolutely everything i adore and she took me out of my Massive depression stage.. I do have friends to fallback on if she does cheat on me, figured id just throw that in.. But my question it, what can i do to block/erase this haunting past so i can have a healthy relationship..

Also my life isnt Cherry! i have an extra year of school cause i failed which i hate, in the town i hate, in the state i hate, around so many people i despies..

For any Input you have my gratitude.


i think the fact that she cheated on her boyfriend to be with you says it all really, i dont see how you can not think she will cheat.

i think it seems you have never spent much of your life alone sorting out the issues from the past relationships. my advice would be to take some time alone to evaluate yourself before committing to a girl again.
From my last relationship to my current one i had about a 6month break, so i had quite some alone time, 2months locked in my to be excat to find myself and sort sometimes outs.. I changed hugely, even my personality changed, went from low-selfesteem take shit from anyone type of person to a person who had a passion for hatred, built self confidence and took shit from no one (sounds kinda, hateful i know lol).. Also my appearance changed, wore so much black clothing, music went from rap to Metal/Punk and now known as Emo..

So i took some time, and ive been fine up till the past 3-4 weeks, and im not sure why its just starting to kick in.. and her cheat wasnt something huge, it was just a like 2second kiss.
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