*insert title here*

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by x_ghost, Jun 20, 2010.

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  1. x_ghost

    x_ghost Member

    I haven't posted a lot on here...so I'm not all that sure how this is going to work.
    I'm posting this now because I feel like I should at least get everything out before I go.

    I guess the only thing holding me back right now is the fact that I can't find a method. :\

    I really hate ranting/complaining/etc, etc.

    But IDK.
    I heard this helps? Eh, I wouldn't know.
    I've never done this before.

    LET ME RANT: o.o

    Well, I guess it dates back to the early years. The elementary years. WAY before now. I used to be made fun of. Eh, whatever. My previous counselors have said that is to blame. I wasn't fat; I just was a little different. What did I do? I don't really know. I liked to wear hats. My dad & mom both have attempted to put me up for foster care and let me know about it. I've had an eating disorder (diagnosed, my fellow friends) since 6th grade. Scary, it really is. Who knows what my next move is? I think it's because I always had a belly. My guys friends always let me know. "Get into shape, will ya?" Thank you. Sleeping disorders. Cutting! The test of all emos! I passed; I passed with an A. I'm so proud. Well, I'm not biopolar, paranoid, or anything extreme. I'm your average kid. My parents are so proud. And friends? haha. They're ultra-conservative christians. I'm going to hell in their eyes. So, obviously, many of them haven't talked to me in months. It's great, really. I love it.

    I'm not sure what I'm looking for through this post.
    & I'm sorry if I've offended anyone with my crude behavior in manner of speaking. My apologies.

    Thank you for reading if you took the time. It....means a lot.
  2. kyle88

    kyle88 Well-Known Member

    You mind if I ask how old you are, and are those the main reasons your thinking about suicide? (friends/family?)
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    First of all no need to apologize! Your post was great..you just jumped right in and that is the way to do...hell i never know where to start as my damn mind gets racing and shit.
    So are you getting any support? Friends? Family? What about talking to the family doctor? are you open to that?
    This place is great and if you keep posting I know you will find what i have found ..great friends and lots of support so please let us know how your feeling and we will be there for you..
    hope to hear from you Bambi
  4. x_ghost

    x_ghost Member

    I don't mind.

    I'm 17.

    & no, not exactly. I think it's because people stopped talking/caring/feeling anything towards me.
    I don't think I'm angry/depressed.
    you know?
    I guess I don't really know. :\
  5. x_ghost

    x_ghost Member

    Thank you.
    Really, means a lot.

    And no...I saw a doctor once but my parent's thought he was crazy and now they don't believe I need to see one -- nor do I think they would be open to the idea. I don't even know where I would begin to tell them.
  6. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I think the fact that you don't know and are having trouble putting an exact finger upon it is a sign that you are dealing with clinical depression, of course i am no expert but sounds like you could use a good true friend or two and you will find that here I am certain of it..
    What about therapy? It really helped give me tools to deal so I am a proponent of it and as you will see many here benefit from it greatly.
    thinking of you :arms:
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Ghost. I think that you're too young to commit suicide. You're only 17. You haven't experienced life as an adult yet. It would be a shame if you checked out so early. I think that you need some new friends, because the ones that you have right now dont seem very supportive. Coming here should definitely help as this is a very supportive forum with many supportive members. :hug:
  8. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I liked the way you wrote your post. It seemed blunt, and honest.

    I just really needed that right now.
  9. x_ghost

    x_ghost Member

    Although I can definitely understand what you're saying, I'm not fully convinced it gets much better after this. Maybe it's just the situation I've been placed it? I know I can't control that, but it seems like adults continually place themselves in situations that make them unhappy. I wouldn't know how to be happy as an adult. & thank you for your support, I hope I've come to the right place. Thank you for reading & listening. It means a lot.
  10. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I have a student named Raven. It hurts me seeing people as young as my students in so much pain. :hug:
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