My entire life, I've been emotionally numb, not void, just numb. Very few things actually give me pleasure, and I don't feel particularly strongly about anything. It's taken a while to realize this. Last year, I had a long episode of depression with suicidal ideation. The odd part is that the suicidal thoughts came first, then the depression manifested (because I thought it should have?). Even stranger, While feeling intensely sad, it felt just as good (because I was feeling something). People noticed that I was depressed, but I never told them the full extent of what I felt. I've since recovered, and have returned to my normal self. My question is, what are some possible reasons for being so unmoved? Why do I have to emulate excitement and sometimes emotion?