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perhaps because in the back of your mind there is still something to keep you going.ending your life isnt the answer,and sleeping tablets arent either,with them you will sleep but when you wake,you feel like you havent slept at all.keep going, stick at it, you will get there in the end.if you still cant sleep then post again, we will help where we can.
It's in those late hours when I can't sleep that I often feel more alive than ever, full of energy and inspiration. When you can't fall into unconsciousness, focus on something positive that you can do, like writing poetry, reading, or anything else you enjoy. Just live in the moment, and focus on enjoying your current situation. Ignore the past and future, and embrace the present.