Insults for my self harm

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Uulanda, Mar 27, 2010.

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  1. Uulanda

    Uulanda Active Member

    Hey everyone

    Recently I self harmed again (I've self harmed for a while now) and it resulted in several cuts down at different points in my arm. To cut a long story short, when people see the cuts they instantly start laughing at me, calling me stupid and the like. People don't seem to realise that there must be a reason for me self harming, and that with more criticism comes more incentive to do it.

    It probably doesn't sound that bad, but I'm horrible at being able to get my point across. To be honest it really hurts on the inside that literally no-one cares, all they want to do is laugh at me because of what I do to myself. Goes to show that if I did kill myself I wouldn't be missed by anyone.
  2. justmeonlyme

    justmeonlyme Long Time SFer Staff Alumni

    people can be very insensitive this is one of the reasons i keep my self harm hidden. now im not telling you to hide it coz that just brings its own problems. often people laugh at things because they don;t understand it i don't think anyone can fully understand self harm unless they have been though it. it doesn't mean they don't care it just means they don't get it. i no it is hard to be around the laughing and it really doesn't help anything i don't really have any advice i just wanted you to no you are not alone.
  3. betteroffunknown

    betteroffunknown Well-Known Member

    i'm so sorry to hear that you have had the unfortunate experience to come across people who just don't get it. although i have only tried cutting twice in my day i think i have a pretty good grasp on it considering i have been around it a lot with many friends. i would like to offer my hand to help if i can. if i can't seem to offer suggestions at the time i will always offer encouragement cause i happen to believe everyone needs it.

    i would also like for you to know that granted we don't know each other (as of yet anyways :)) that i really would care if you did something to hurt yourself in anyway including but not limited to taking your own life. i happen to believe that everyone has value, and i guess you could say it's kind of a personal goal to help others see it in themselves cause it really can make all the difference in the world and their lives.

    we all deserve, whether you believe it or not, the very best in life and i am not neccessarily talking about having all the things material wise but as people as a human beings. unfortunately so many of us get the exact opposite for a message too many times in life and we come to believe it, but i'm here to tell you they're ALL wrong. they obviously had their own issues and took it out on all of us. but things can and will change. it takes time and a lot of work but it definately will happen. i would like to encourage you to hang in there and continue to share cause we do care and we will listen. if you ever need someone to vent to my pm box is always open. please feel free to use it.

    take care :biggrin:
    please take care and i look forward to seeing you around.
  4. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    Be grateful you aren't as ignorant as the pigs who made fun of you!

    It's similar to racism, the attitude to self harm that some people have, you get some very simple minded people out there who make fun of or discriminate against us!

    A strange thing to say, be grateful, I know but at least your not pig ignorant like they are!
  5. Tane

    Tane Active Member

    I think you have two courses of action:

    Be sarcastic or Ignore them.
  6. Uulanda

    Uulanda Active Member

    Thank you for the replies.

    I actually do try and hide it, but the problem is that when I feel so bad that I DO want to cut, I'm not really thinking ahead. I try and hide the cuts but I have very few long sleeve shirts so I try and just claim it was my dog being a bit violent.

    It's just really getting to me, it's hard to live with to be honest.
  7. Mat Voleido

    Mat Voleido Well-Known Member

    It is hard to deal with it :sad:

    I used to be in the same boat. But you dislike where it takes you after awhile. My closet grew and grew and soon I had more long sleeve shirts than short. Always using band-aids, excuses, never going out for a swim, taking clothes off at the beach, etc.

    But I understand completely. You don't think ahead when you're in that place. You're not sitting down with your instrument and suddenly think "In a few months, I won't be able to enjoy summer" or anything of the sort.

    You can go down a couple of different roads. If you don't mind, I'll just give a summary of what I did: Eventually I stopped caring. I didn't cut on my arms anymore, but I just wore short sleeves. Nobody really noticed, I guess I got lucky. Some people did. But to those who were close, they understood, and those who didn't, I just denied denied denied. I acted like it was so laughable that they suggested that, that they left it alone.

    You could do that. You could cover up some of the bad ones with band-aids and just say your animal got violent with you. You used to take care of kittens, or something of that sort? I'm not sure :tongue:

    You could cover them up and use bio-oil or some other type of cream to try and help them heal. But I think for the short term... After you have cut (Because I know how hard it is to stop, and I don't expect you to right away) and you feel a bit more in control, clean it up with isopropyl, and put a band-aid on it (Do it so that it pulls the skin together, the scar will heal in a thinner line).

    People can be super insensitive. I did have a couple of bad remarks. Some weren't half bad, some guy once just told me "Dude, cutting yourself doesn't make you cool". And I still felt pretty bad. It's tough sometimes. I don't know if any of this makes sense or helps whatsoever, but if you need to talk, you can send a PM my way. I've struggled in the same areas. I won't be judgmental of any sort :smile:
  8. grinded serenity

    grinded serenity Well-Known Member

    If people are giving you shit for your self harm, look them in the eye and tell them "let's see you take a razor to yourself, you fucking coward." Guarenteed, unless somebody is seriously messed in the head, they won't do it on the spot. Victory.

    But in case that doesn't work, which is probably will just piss people off, don't even give them the benefit of seeing you in pain. Just walk away. Your already attuned to pain, they will get what's coming to them for laughing, don't worry. It hurts when it's happening, yeah, but you should just know that in the end, life always balances out. The bad people will get what they deserve, and the people who have been good, and done the right thing will be rewarded. Trust me on that.
  9. White_Darkness

    White_Darkness Well-Known Member

    I've heard a lot of negative words in my days as well - from all kinds of people.. Despite the fact that I really did my best to hide both my scars and my wounds.

    When some insensitive idiot in PE came up to me, gasped and said "OH-EM-EF-GEEEEE what happened to your arms?!?!?!?!" i normally said my cat did it. Or when other insensitive idiots asked me if I've been in a fight with a cat, I used to say but nowadays I don't care so I say ''and what do YOU think?''

    nowadays, i just don't care anymore. i don't sh anymore (aside from biting my fingers and pathologically scratching my back) so i only have scars left. i do walk around in short sleeves but do occasionally find it uncomfortable if i notice that someone's staring at me ;/

    bottom line is that you shouldn't care! most people are stooooooooopd and should be treated accordingly.
  10. gakky1

    gakky1 Well-Known Member

    I like that answer grinded serenity, never thought of it. But I also cover up, too ashamed not to, and you're right, who thinks ahead, you just need relieve right then. Not my thread, but good comments because I often feel the same way.:huh:
  11. Alloloa

    Alloloa Member


    Uulanda, I truly feel sorry for you. Being laughed at and/or criticized for self-harm is something terrible, I had this disagreeable experience with people who knew I self-harmed. I hadn't told anyone, but one day, in gym class, the coach forced me to take off my sweat-shirt (it was during winter, and we were in a warmed-up gymnasium), because she thought it didn't help me playing volley-ball. So I pulled it off, and we had a short sleeve uniform for gym; I put my hands behind my back, hoping that no one would see. Unfortunately, one of my classmate was right behind me, and she saw my arms. I easily guess that it went through the two 10th Grade classes (I was in the French section of an International School).

    Still, in biology, the two boys with whom I was sharing the table (one being one of the few who had come to my house after my second attempt) started to make fun of people who self-harmed, telling that they were crazy, that they were only to draw attention to themselves and many other things that I don't remember. I only wanted to pull up my sleeves (I was wearing a jacket in addition to my uniform) and ask them if they truly thought that I was crazy. It drove me mad with pain and anger.

    So, don't listen to them. Self-harm is something very few people understand, my own family still doesn't understand and it's been 5 years now. They don't know what they're talking about, they're ignorant and they may also be afraid. When you behave differently, people start to get scared, and can have inappropriate reactions. Please don't take that personally, or as a reproach/criticism, I'm not judging you at all, it's only my own experience.

    And if you want to hide your scars, you can put arm-warmers (I think this is the correct word) , most of them can be pretty, and not that expensive. They can be of different styles, some looking pretty gothic (I love these ones) and other looking punk or just elegant. I buy them in Claire's, but I'm in France, and since I don't know where you live, I don't know if there is this shop in your country. You can also knit them, they're a lot of english patrons on the Internet, and most of them are pretty nice (I looked at it, but I didn't understand the abbreviations; I'm a knitting beginner, and I'm still struggling with French abbreviations, so, English ones...).

    Anyway, good luck, and please don't make out of this experience a reason to hurt yourself even more.

  12. Feenrai

    Feenrai Member

    People can be so ignorant and insensitive. I wish I could just say "ignore them, they're stupid," but I know from my own experience how hard it is to follow that advice. The fact of the matter is that even when you know someone isn't justified in teasing you, it still hurts. All I can really say is /hug, and I'm so sorry you like so many others have to experience that kind of pain on top of the pain that causes you to SI in the first place...

    In a perfect world, everyone would have access to the therapy they need, and no one would make fun of other people for's not a perfect world, but at least here we can support each other and find solace in like-minded people who DO understand what we're all going through, unlike the type of people who will make fun of our pain.
  13. KoNfUsEd

    KoNfUsEd Active Member

    I know exactly how you feel though i have never been brave enough to leave the house in less then a hoodie or jumper hard in the summer knowing you will never be able to go swimming or the beach on a good day. My arms are a complete mess so i could never use the excuse my cat did it ect. I m not telling you to hide it there should be nothing to be ashamed of just like it was said before people dont understand it until your part of it. I know i didnt help answer your question just wanted you to know your not alone :)
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