Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Terry, Feb 3, 2015.

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  1. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I love a good insult and here are some doozies!

    The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
    She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea ."
    He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

    A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
    "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

    "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill

    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... If you have one." -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Haha my all time favourite is Winston Churchill's insult to Lady Astor. I remember my dad telling me that one and I cried laughing lol.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    ROFL!! My favorite is the same one! That made me laugh out loud.
  4. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    My fav "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Also Churchill. ;)
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    LOL! I love those, Terry!

    How about some of Downton Abbey's Dowager Countess's lines (Maggie Smith's role is violet; she's on the left)?

    Giles Keyte/Carnival Film & Television Limited 2012 for MASTERPIECE; Giles Keyte/Carnival Film & Television Limited 2012 for MASTERPIECE

    Isobel: "Were you a very involved mother with Robert and Rosamund?"
    Violet: "Does it surprise you?"
    Isobel: "A bit. I'd imagined them surrounded by nannies and governesses, being starched and ironed to spend an hour with you after tea."
    Violet: "Yes, but it was an hour every day."

    Or my sister's friend to a co-worker: "Ah, yes, well...even God himself couldn't improve your taste!"

  6. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

  7. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Quite a few was clever.
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    LOL thanks Terry and Acy
  9. deb22

    deb22 Well-Known Member

    shaw to churchhill, BAZINGA!

    those were great!
  10. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter

    Winston Churchill (when berated for being drunk by MP Bessie Braddock): 'My dear, you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober, and you will still be ugly.
  11. Bert29

    Bert29 Account Closed

  12. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thank you for this thread, it really lifted my mood all by itself. The first one has been my favourite for a while now, but a few in there I haven't heard before which made me giggle :lol:
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