Insults

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Terry, Feb 3, 2015.

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  1. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I love a good insult and here are some doozies!

    The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
    She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea ."
    He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

    A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
    "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

    "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill

    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... If you have one." -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
     
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Haha my all time favourite is Winston Churchill's insult to Lady Astor. I remember my dad telling me that one and I cried laughing lol.
     
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    ROFL!! My favorite is the same one! That made me laugh out loud.
     
  4. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    My fav "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." Also Churchill. ;)
     
  5. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    LOL! I love those, Terry!

    How about some of Downton Abbey's Dowager Countess's lines (Maggie Smith's role is violet; she's on the left)?

    [​IMG]
    Giles Keyte/Carnival Film & Television Limited 2012 for MASTERPIECE; Giles Keyte/Carnival Film & Television Limited 2012 for MASTERPIECE


    Isobel: "Were you a very involved mother with Robert and Rosamund?"
    Violet: "Does it surprise you?"
    Isobel: "A bit. I'd imagined them surrounded by nannies and governesses, being starched and ironed to spend an hour with you after tea."
    Violet: "Yes, but it was an hour every day."



    Or my sister's friend to a co-worker: "Ah, yes, well...even God himself couldn't improve your taste!"






     
  6. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

  7. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire SF Supporter

    Quite a few was clever.
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    LOL thanks Terry and Acy
     
  9. deb22

    deb22 Well-Known Member

    shaw to churchhill, BAZINGA!

    those were great!
     
  10. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter

    Winston Churchill (when berated for being drunk by MP Bessie Braddock): 'My dear, you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober, and you will still be ugly.
     
  11. Bert29

    Bert29 Account Closed

    Lol..
     
  12. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Thank you for this thread, it really lifted my mood all by itself. The first one has been my favourite for a while now, but a few in there I haven't heard before which made me giggle :lol:
     
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