Insults

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Terry, Feb 28, 2012.

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  1. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Much classier and effective than today's methods I would say.
    These glorious insults are from an era before the English language embraced 4-letter words.


    The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
    She said, "If you were my husband I'd poison your tea ."
    He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

    A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
    "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
    "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

    "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

    "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill

    "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

    "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

    "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

    "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

    "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

    "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... If you have one." -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
    "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

    "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

    "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

    "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

    "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

    "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

    "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

    "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker



    "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

    "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

    "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

    "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

    "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

    "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

    And another exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor:
    "You, Winston, are drunk ..." "And you, Nancy, are ugly.... But I shall be sober in the morning..." - Winston Churchill
     
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    :rofl:
     
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    love it :) especially the one with the tickets to the opening night. made me smile :)
     
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Cannot beat the Churchill and Lady Astor quote. Top notch!
     
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I like these! very clever :smile:
     
  6. Deadtwice

    Deadtwice Well-Known Member

    These are great. It would be nice if people still argued this way today.
     
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