Interest in sex

Discussion in 'LGBTQIA (New Forum)' started by lifeless84, Jul 5, 2015.

  1. lifeless84

    lifeless84 Well-Known Member

    Question is, how do you lose it. Or at least, how do you lower your sex drive?

    Of all the symptoms regarding depression and anxiety, like low mood and feeling sad, less energy and feeling less able to do things, losing interest in activities you used to enjoy, loss of concentration, becoming tired easily, sleeping and eating less, feeling less good about yourself, feeling guilty or worthless,etc, loss of interest in sex is actually, the only one that does not refer to me :/ ( and the only one I'd like to have). I would say, I have a high sex drive, high testosterone level and as a person who has never had sex in my life, it drives me crazy. Of course, it wouldn't cure my depression or anxiety, but it would make it at least a bit easier to cope with. I've tried to google it, but couldn't find anything. Is it really as it says, if google can't find it, it doesn't exist??
     
  2. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Why in the world would you want to lower your sex drive? Having one is healthy. You could use self-pleasure until you finally bore of it, if you want. Exercise is a good substitute as well.

    You could use distractions that wont turn you on, doing math or reading about parasites that infect humans, gardening, or busy yourself with house cleaning.
     
  3. justMe7

    justMe7 Well-Known Member

    Can't say I understand your want to lower it...

    There's nothing wrong with a high sex drive. Are you having trouble focusing or something?
     
  4. lifeless84

    lifeless84 Well-Known Member

    Yes, it is good and healthy, if you are normal and healthy person. Which I am not. Sure, masturbation helps to get rid of tension, but it leaves a mark on my psycho. It reminds me, why I do it. I've got two solutions. First one is to get rid of all my disorders, become "normal", start dating, find a girlfriend and have a sexual life. Or I can simply lose interest in sex and girls whatsoever. Don't know yet how to do it, that's what I am trying to find out, as the first one is impossible to achieve.

    Distraction could be fine for some time. Unfortunately, I have problems with concentration, I can't focus on anything for a longer period of time. Add to it my perfectionism (negative one) and you get a person who gives up on everything quickly and easily.

    As I've stated in my first post, it wouldn't cure me of my problems, as there are too many of them. But it would make my existence a bit more bearable.

    In case, someone hasn't guessed by now, visiting a doctor is not an option for me. There is no way, I am going to talk to someone about my problems, my feelings, etc face to face. Or even by phone. Web is the only place, I feel relatively safe and even that is for as long as there is no one who can identify my. That's why I have so little post in such a long time. I read, but I don't "talk" much.
     
  5. Are you comfortable talking here about specifics? I currently feel like I can't talk to someone face to face about some of my issues either for fear of judgment or worse.
     
  6. lifeless84

    lifeless84 Well-Known Member

    up to a point, yes. I just try not to give too many details which could help identifying my ( I know, what are the odds, someone I know is reading it. Like zero. Still, it is in my psyche) And this topic is an example. I've never started a sex related topic in real life with anyone. Talking about sex makes me very uncomfortable. When I am out, occasionally, I always pray no one starts it. But they always do :/ Maybe, that's because at the age of 31, I am still a virgin. And few other reasons from my past.
     
  7. I understand it's a very sensitive subject. If you feel like mentioning anymore, like if your mates know this about you, why you feel you can't talk about it to a therapist, or the reasons behind it, I can at least say there's no way I would know you--and I would be more understanding than you'd guess. I completely understand your concern though.
     
  8. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Just a thought. Look up AVEN they have sexuality related issues and maybe with some of the topics related to sex, it might make some sense to you. Just letting you know youre not alone. Yes its an asexual site but sexuality is discussed in wide range over there. Interesting reads.
     
  9. lifeless84

    lifeless84 Well-Known Member

    I know there's no way you can know me. Or anyone here. But it is in my psyche. It is a bit like with OCD, e.g. there is no way something bad would happen if you stepped on a line between two bricks of pavement. Yet, there are people terribly afraid of it, making sure they wouldn't do it, as they believe, a disaster would happen. My case is somewhere between phobia and OCD.

    And I didn't tell I had spoken to anyone in RL about my sexuality, me being a virgin, etc. I just believe, it is not very difficult to figure it out, since I've never had a girlfriend, I am not a clubbing guy. They were just "kind" enough, not to mention about it, not to start a topic. I've been to a therapist twice. Both times, it went bad. I am just very closed person, who can't talk about my feelings, my problems, etc. Writing is a bit different story, but only as long as no one knows me. A story, from different forum. A person started messaging me, eventually invited me for a coffee, as it turned out we were living not very far from each other. I agreed. I stopped feeling secure to such a point, a removed all my post from the forum and deleted my account withing a week from the meeting.

    I'll have a look at their site/forum, thx
     
  10. Lansdman

    Lansdman New Member

    H
    hello,
    I do understand your desire to lose your desire. I am in a sexless marriage and my high sex drive is the cause of most of my depression. If I could only get past my desires I should be happy. Good job, wife and two great kids. But the lack of intimacy leave me feeling repulsive and inadaquate. Not sure this is much comfort to you. But, I wanted to let you know you're not alone. I also feel that if I could lose my desire it would help me find happiness.
     
  11. Lmxoxo

    Lmxoxo Active Member

    Personally, I feel like self release helps a lot. But, if you're not into that also, just tiring yourself out works.

    Making yourself so busy and focused on something else you don't even have time to think about sex. Or just having a purpose or goal that means more to you. For me I have working, exercising and eating a plant based diet as my focus. And it actually takes up all the space in my brain so if I ever start feeling like I'm getting sad again, (because my thing is depression & anxiety) I throw myself into researching some good clean cooking or I go for a walk up the hill stairs or I do some weights or I tidy something up really fantastically. Finding something that shifts your focus off of it, really is the key. I find it works fantastically for me too.