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Internet Love.

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TearsDropBloodTrickles

Well-Known Member
#1
#1
Can one fall inlove online ? Is it possible. Why Not ?

I ask this because, the person i consider to be my first love. I've never actually met, he was a californian, and i only ever knew him online. I was 14 and he was 17 when we met. I never knew about chat until my cousin came and stayed with me during the summer, and introduced me into this fascinating new world. I was hooked from day one. Now at this point in my life, things werent too bad, school wasnt great, home life wasnt great. But compared to where i am now, all was fine. So i met my love, and it spanned a relationship which lasted between 1-2 years. Long time, yes. It was solely online, chat rooms, msn messenger, yahoo messenger & ofcourse email. Now till this day, 4years older, with all the mases of wisdom ive gained, knowing that i would never now start an online relationship again, i still believe i loved and love him. So did i ?

Why would my emotions engage any differently online than they would in reality. His words were no less sweeter because they were typed. I think i loved him. I know i loved him. And if i believe i loved him, how can anyone else tell me i didnt ? Afterall my perception is the only truth i have.

I guess one could argue that who i fell inlove with maybe not be who that person really is, but love that blossoms out of deciet is still love.

I just felt like writing this, possibly starting a debate...anyone got another opinion ?
 
C

Convergence

#2
#2
Let me start by saying this subject is kind of debateable.

It depends on the people, how they communicate, how well they communicate, how well they handle things, how well they trust eachother, and how dedicated they are.

I speak from experience, and I will say, you must devote alot of time, and you must have control over yourself (to not cheat) and pursue a faithful relationship.

If you really love this person, then you must try hard. It's not impossible, but it's a hard road. You must always keep your love in your relationship strong. Even when things go down, above all, keep the love strong between you and the person you love.

It takes an intensity. One must always be completely devoted. You have to keep the person occupied too. Try to be creative with your distance. There is a variety of things you can do (you can message me if you'd like some examples, but there are too many to list) It's very simple, but you have to make sure each and every moment is special.

Let that person know that you believe that it will work, and that it will work well.

You have to believe in yourself, your partner, and together. It takes 2 people, and it takes 2 strong people.

You can do it if you really try. But it's no easy road.
 
W

Wonderstuff

Staff Alumni
#4
#4
I think it could be. I mean, online you can really get to know people better because you don't like go to movies with them or do stuff like that like you would in real life, you just sit and talk the whole time. And even if you're only typing...you get to know each other real well.
So, yeah, I think it could have been :) I certainly think it could happen, anyway.
 
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~CazzaAngel~

Staff Alumni
#5
#5
moonstar89 said:
I think it could be. I mean, online you can really get to know people better because you don't like go to movies with them or do stuff like that like you would in real life, you just sit and talk the whole time. And even if you're only typing...you get to know each other real well.
So, yeah, I think it could have been :) I certainly think it could happen, anyway.
Click to expand...
Well, lets say for example, I am closer to you guys than really almost anyone. People can tend to be able to cumminicate easier online. Dunno why............so you could be inlove, but only you can know if you are.


:hug:



xxxxxxxx
 
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claycad

Well-Known Member
#6
#6
No such thing. Same thing happened when I was 17. I met a girl, thought it was love, we seemed to really connect. Also thought she was 16 at the time. Turned out she was 14, no big deal really, but then found out that she had another boyfriend online who was 28! twice her real age, but not the other guys fault because he thought she was 24 when she was really 14! Long story how I found all this out, but the moral is not to get involved with people online. People can be manipitlive when they are bored, our whole relationship (which lasted two years) online was a shame! a mere form of entertainment for her, and nothing more while I was foolish to think it was real. Never trust anyone until you meet them in person. NEVER
 
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TearsDropBloodTrickles

Well-Known Member
#7
#7
Okay fair enough for this bitch it was amusement and she was messing you and others about, but why does that invalidate what you were feeling towards her ? I knew this guy for 4 years...spending anywhere between 5mins and 13hrs a day, talking to him. (Wow, thats really sad. More for him than me, as he was older..(lol)..) Just because she lied to you, and you feelings towards her changed, does that mean your feelings before you found out the truth, werent real ? Why is lying online any different from lying in reality ?
 
M

Malcontent

Staff Alumni
#8
#8
I met my fiance online, and we were together 2 months before we actually met. I definitely fell in love with her before we met, but I fell further in love with her when I'd actually seen her properly and spent proper time just being with her.

So yes, I do think it's possible to fall in love with someone online. But it's important to meet them as well, and as soon as you can. And don't give all of your heart to someone untill you've met them properly and truely know them.
 
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claycad

Well-Known Member
#9
#9
My feelings were false because she was not the person I thought she was. She lied about several of the little things that caused me to be so connected to her. We talked for 12 hours or more a day usually. How anyone could talk to someone for anywhere between 1 to 12 hours a day for two years and be able to keep up a false persona the way she did is beyond me. Secondly, I thought it was love at the time, nearly 7 years ago. Now, I realize it was not love; it was the idea of wanting to be in love because I was lonely.

I am not saying this to insult anyone’s maturity level or intelligence. I do not know you so I do not know how mature or intelligent you actually are, but when I was in my teens I thought I was the most mature person on the face the earth and that there was no way I could possibly be anymore mature. Now that I am 24 I can look back and laugh at my ignorance and arrogance. I don't know if you are lonely yourself, but loneliness can give you false feelings of love. I'm not saying it is impossible to find your one true love on the internet. I have a friend who is engaged to a girl he met on the internet....but although they met on the internet, they met several times in person before getting engaged, and for all I know they are no longer engaged as it has been several months since I have talked to this friend.

There is no difference between lying in person and lying on the internet, except the fact that it is harder for people to do it in person. On the internet you might think they are the sweetest most compassionate person in the world, only too find out they are really a sadistic psycobitch in person. I believe you can tell much about a person by gazing into the eyes...windows to the soul and all that gooey crud...but I think there is a lot of truth behind that. I'm not saying not to try to meet anybody on the internet, god knows I'm a member of enough online dating sites, I'm just saying don't assume its love until you meet them for real.
 
S

Spikey

Senior Member
#10
#10
Yeah... I've now met my boyfriend online... he randomly messaged me on AOL.... he's so lovely and is gonna help me with my bp/self harm.
*bouncy bouncy sugar high*
He's lovely :D
 
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TearsDropBloodTrickles

Well-Known Member
#11
#11
But with that i can only arguee, is love by deception not love ? I think love can blossom on the internet, and maybe when ive aged a little more i will think differently. But ive loved a 'real' person too, and i know it was just as strong or possibly even weaker than my 'virtual' love.

I think from what everyone said i would conclude that altho love can be intiated online, it doesnt get its strength and its longivity until it has been brought into the 'real' world. As for looking into someones eye and seeing thier soul...im way too depressed to believe in that crap.

Because wether the love was real or not. Love still sucks!
 
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claycad

Well-Known Member
#12
#12
Okay, I will agree that while it is possible to initate love on the internet, a person should be careful not to jump to the conclusion that it is any kind of love at all until they meet. As for the eye gazing thing, some people believe you can acheive climax simply by gazing into your lovers eyes. When I meet a girl that can make me cum just by looking at her ,that is truely true love:wink:
 
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Tobes

Well-Known Member
#16
#16
I think that if you can accept this person for who they are, and not a knight in shining armor, then you could fall in love with this person. That means if he was fat, or a recluse, or a goth, or whatever. I'm not calling you shallow, but a big part of love is being able to see past the physical and love the person on the inside as well as the outside. I don't know whether you love this person, because I'm not you, but I know that when you talk with someone you have never met, and they sound desirable, you can build up an extravagant image in your mind. Can you see yourself loving someone that didn't meet your expectations? If you can, it could be love.

When it comes down to it, you can't ask someone else what you feel inside. If you are (or were) in love with someone, you should know it already.
 
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