When I was a kid i remember being so popular in elementary school. I was athletic and a girl asked me out to the sixth grade prom. I was miss those days so much, they were the best time of my life. Also when i was a kid and the time I spent with my mother. I had such a happy childhood. The quiet teeanger that i was, skinny old pimply teeanger. But I was in that phase until my early 20s.The I finally i fell in love with Liz, we were supposed to be together forever.It was love mixed in with depression and anxiety, brutal. and then after her, the loveliest girl came into my life, Eva. I loved you so much. You actually spoke to me, cared. And then of course there was Ellie, my patient that i adored, that I took care of. And since then I never found anyone so special in my life. These days I am an addict and I can't even hide it. Pot keeps me motivated, xanax keeps me motivated, st ides keeps me motivated. Keeps me motivated to do what I have to to get these things. It is better than slicing myself up. I was actually about to trade a $1,000 worth desktop computer for like 6 dimes ($60). I am a fiend. I don't need anyone, no friends, no women, there are none around, just need my mother and my drugs. Otherwise I might as well be dead. No hope.