intresting question

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ODIECOM, Aug 5, 2009.

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  1. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    from what i have read here, there are alot of ppl .. like myself that either wish they were dead, have tried suicide or are talking for days about commiting suicide.

    my question is... how long do you plan in advance for it ?
    i suppose another question too is, why do we try things that we have doubts will work?

    i read on some post that the person wanted to jump 3 stories. more than likely thats not gunna work.

    i knew the amount of sleeping pills i took wasnt gunna work.
    sooo, is it actually POSSIBLE that none of us really want to die? but simply crying out ?
    im sorry but i know there are alot of definate ways to end it.

    im thinking there are those of us who simply dont want to die ???
    hmmmm ?
     
  2. jack

    jack Member

    For me personally, I really do want to die. Well, not always, but when I do, I look for ways to actually die. If I just want help, I know enough to ask for help. Usually.

    I think the reason I survived my attempts is that I was afraid to do it in a way that would cause me pain. It seems so much easier to just swallow a bunch of pills and drift off into nothingness. Having to suffer through actual physical pain is something else. Part of the reason why I want to kill myself is to escape pain, not cause more of it.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think you are right we don't really want to die but we want whatever drove us to this thought to go away.. We want the pain to go the past to go We want to be able to be happy with ourselves our lifestyle the people around us. The answers are out there we just have to find a way to push the negatives away long enough to see the positives tiring yes but worth it if we accomplish at least one day of peace
     
  4. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    i like both of those responses.
    i know, there are those that are sucessful at suicide. i can also imagine what their mindset must have been. its not easy for many ppl to imagine that.

    im wondering if, attempts ... many of them, is kinda like cutting.
    i think im kinda afraid of dealing with severe pain myself in trying to die.

    i often wonder why i didnt go out and buy some more pills ... after i got back home.
    it is an intresting mindset for sure.

    odiecom
     
  5. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I definitelly want to die, but the reason why i havent attempted so far is because i must be 100% sure it will work. I dont want to have failed attempt behind. I do know the lethal doses for diferent drugs, the thing is, i dont have them in my hand. Some methods that are really available, are not certain enough.
    I dont want do TRY TO SUICIDE, but i want to SUICIDE. It must be succesfull the first time i go through it.
    The other reason i havent tryed is my family.
    But if i get a chance with 99% chances to die, i wont miss it, i will act in the moment.
     
  6. physician

    physician Well-Known Member

    There are a lot of ways which are 100% sure one would die if attempting suicide. And we all know them.

    What happends is that there are very few people which REALLY want to die and want it to be 100% no coming back. And those people are in the news everyday.
     
  7. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    sooo, with all the time spent on waiting for the perfect moment, isnt there anything that can be done in a positive way ?

    i realise there are differant situations in other countries but, seems to me, there must be SOME WAY to make things come to a beginning for where we would like to be.
     
  8. Ronin

    Ronin New Member

    "Uncertain outcome" seems to be the main factor for not going through with suicide. If there were a bottle of pills that said on the side " you will 100% die if you take "x" amount of pills, your death will be painless as you drift off to sleep" Then I think more people would go through with it.
     
  9. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Myself I didnt wake up one day and say I want to end it all. Things in my life slowly progressed and seemed no matter how much effort I put forth nothing ever changed. Nothing ever got better. I finally found suicide as the only means to stop the pain, the endless struggles. I have been very earnest in my attempts. I dont know why guess there is always that uncertainity factor that has played out for me unfortunately. Someone finding me, not being able to physically swallow all the pills required and by that time the damage was done but not enough etc. I dont want to die. But I also see after living a good 2/3 of my lifetime suffering that there really is no other answer. And I have tried diligently to find a better answer. Now it's not really a matter of planning for it. Everything is in place the t's are crossed the i's dotted just a matter of waiting for the right things to fall into place. Sorry I was hoping this would make sense but I'm sure I'm rambling.
     
  10. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    that did make sense. me, i have fallen many times and have been in a mess for the last 3 years financially.
    the thing is, even when i was younger i still wished i was dead. even after this last attempt, im left with not much. i moved before the attempt and things kinda went sideways.
    im not in the worst of places, but im not where i would like to be. it is going to take time. i know this, and sure, i think about suicide now and again.
    i WANT things differant. maybe thats something that i have going for me now.

    when the desire is great enough, things can change. but they wont unless we take action. i know we run into road blocks and i have had many.

    many many setbacks, some of them my own doing, some ... things just happen.

    i feel the need to keep moving forward this time .. who knows, things can change .. we all know that. but, there are things i want again.
    and right now im willing to get those things back.

    i think there just might be some of us that can apply that thinking. maybe ??
     
  11. backwardshole

    backwardshole Active Member

    If a person really wanted to kill themselves they would do it, they would seriously keep it to themselves and just do it spontaneously. If one was TRULY comitted to wanting to end their life, they would do it. Some cry out before hand, and some do not. It defintiely is a life changing situation to "off" yourself...

    But honestly, if someone honestly wanted to die that bad, they would just do it without telling anyone...
     
  12. PandorasToybox

    PandorasToybox Well-Known Member

    Which is why there are so many people who die by suicide that did say or do something to give some sort of sign .... :huh:

    Saying someone who really wanted to die would not say or do something is false. 75% of suicide victims did show some sort of sign.
     
  13. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    If it was just me in the picture maybe, I dont know, I could try to keep plugging away and getting nowhere really fast. But my kids dont deserve this life. My life is destroying theirs too. I know I know, "you cant for the sake of your kids." But has anyone out there ever really had to face their kids each day knowing that their physical and mental health is the reason for their childrens' suffering too? I weigh that each day and in my heart know that they will be hurt but they will go on. Staying they will get hurt and never escape from my world. Never be able to see things in a different light or better. So I wish it was as easy as applying different thinking, different techniques to cope. But at the end of the day I cant do it anymore for them or me. I know I'm horrible for thinking that way and it doesnt make me much for good mother material. Shelfishly I dont want them or me to hurt anymore because of a life I cant change or have any control over anymore. Hun I hope that things work for you I truly do, that you can each day move a little further ahead and not ever need to lok back. Best of luck to you for many better tomorrows!! :)
     
  14. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    umm, not being to nosey, but how are your kids being affected by you?
    im assuming they might be younger children ?
     
  15. Necromanti

    Necromanti Well-Known Member

    In response to the OP, I must say that I have noticed that some people experience sudden, intense waves of suicidal feelings that cause them to act spontaneously, so there may not always be a planned date. Even those who do have planned dates tend to postpone it again and again.

    To be honest, I haven't experienced what people here have called being "triggered"; the feelings don't ebb and flow for me.

    However, my date is a very fluid one and adapts to my needs; there are certain things that I need to do before I die. Instead of having a date of when I will actually do it, I have a point in time that I cannot pass. I must do it sometime before that date, and I've been planning for about two years or so now.

    I also have no intention of using methods which are not 100% foolproof. It would be horrific for me to end up physically disabled instead, and the effect that a suicide attempt would have on others would not be pleasant. That is why both my method and plan must be flawless. Of course, no one truly wants to die...not all parts of them, at least. Luckily for me, I have a chronic illness that is dependent on a certain substance that will cause a cardiac arrest/brain death very quickly and painlessly as I lose consciousness. How ironic that the one thing keeping my alive will also be the one thing that will grant me my wish.
     
  16. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    I don't think many, if any of us, want to die. We just would rather not be alive.
    If all were all fine and dandy, and/or our chemicals imbalances were balanced, then I think many of us would be pleased to be here.

    I think the attempts that are likely not to work are leaving it to chance that either half can prosper, the half that wants things to get better, or the half that just wants it to end and has given up.
    People will continue you live so long as their hope for the future remains stronger than their feeling of hopelessness.

    At least, that's my take on the situation.
     
  17. Neverhappyalwayssad

    Neverhappyalwayssad Well-Known Member

    Killing yourself is a lot easier than it sounds. The human body can survive and will try to survive a lot of things. You can live with a hole in your temple and your body regulation of breathing and blood pumping will go on for 10 mins to days and weeks and months.

    Your body has a subconcious willingness to survive even if your mind doesn't want to. Which is very wierd. Maybe I don't really want to die, but when your having thoughts of suicide constantly through out the days, and there isn't a light in the tunnel your in then wanting to live is def not on your mind.

    I've begun to think maybe life isn't for everyone and I happen to be one of those who it isn't for. And I come to peace with that idea.
     
  18. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I don't want to die, I just get times where I'm sick of living. I'm stuck in situations which I think won't change and it's seriously disheartening to the point where I wonder will I ever be free? I cling onto the hope that someday I will be, I have my loving boyfriend and a few close friends who help me get through and without them I'd be at a total loss.
     
  19. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    I classify my attempts in two ways. First as a gesture to let people know how much pain I am in. Second the true attempts which are far fewer than the gestures. My true attempts number about three or four times. These are the times I truly wanted to die. The gestures number about 50 or more times. When I am asked how many times I have tried I say three or four times. For myself though the gestures are not the same as SI which I also have done. The SI is a coping mechanism to make my living with myself easier. The gestures are a scream of pain that could possibly result in death.
     
  20. Epical Taylz

    Epical Taylz Well-Known Member

    i think that if you tell someone about you wanting to attempt suicide, then it's a cry for help, but if you don't tell anyone, you just do it in the heat of the moment, then it's not.

    i think that it depends on the situation.

    also, i think that when people plan it, they want someone to try to stop them, a cry for help.
    but when people just go out and attempt without telling someone, i think that they either:
    1. get scared that they're actually going to go through with it
    or
    2. don't think about what theyre doing, they think that anything will work.
     
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