As a new member who has only been around for a few days, i thought it was about time i introduce myself. A friend gave me the link thru another forum aftter my little brother killed himself. I have done some peeking and proding around and reading some very disturbing thoughts and actions around here. My heart bleeds for the sorrow you people have felt and could never imagine the pain some of you all have indured. I never realized how abundant all this is until seeing it here and it happening in my life. And even though i don't know anyone here, i wish i could take your pains and sorrows away. But i can't and i know that. Now a little about myself. I'm 37 and divorced , from Florida but live in Georgia. My dad is a Pyschiatrist (head of the united way) and mom is a therapist. That was a fun household. yeah right. Nothing like two shrinks always asking whats wrong a thousand times a day. Went into the military at 18 and did my 2 years as a military police officer. Started driving the big rigs at 21 and still doing so today. I have had death all around me my entire life , being from the military to having friends die from the DUI driver to just natural causes. I have seen/done things i wouldn't wish upon my most hated enemy. I have become pretty much numb to people dying. But when my little brother died a week agoo today, that just ripped my heart out. After all the conversations him and i had about life , i just couldn't believe he did it. And i hate him for the pain and sorrow he has put me thru and the whole family and his friends. But my love for him is much stronger than any hate i have and i forgive him. This was supposed to be an introduction not a book. If anybody here just needs an ear to talk to, i listen well. I will help those who help themselves, always have always will.